♥ A Promise That You Can'r Keep. ♥
Friday, April 30, 2010 ( 10:39:00 PM )
no, dun talk bout ipman 2 with me lah. you promised that you wanted us to watch together. but now, seems like you're saying other different things already. I'm already so enthusisatic and excited to watch this ipman2.. even though i dunno what the hell the show is about.. n even though i didnt watch the part 1, i still wna watch it though cos its a good show. Almost everybody is booking the tickets online.. and I wanted to book the tickets too; just in case its full house.. But when I called you to find out more, to ask you what time we gonna watch and which place we gonna go. you have to tell me that you're gonna watch with your friends. omg.
Basket.
Like seriously? if ur really serious wan watch with me.. den u can ask me along together with ur frens rite. Since ur frens (firman and hykel) are watching it together.. den u let them watch together lah. whatever it is, you can still ask me,.. if i mind you watch with ur frens or not.. it's not just making ur own decision and when its planned, you tell me all about it. Cos if not you, who else i'm gonna watch it with. In the first place, don't ask me to watch with you lah if a simple promise like this you can't keep. haiz. ooook fine, go watch with your frens.
But when ur fren ask u to watch ip man2, den why cant you have me in ur mind.. and tell them that we already make plans together. ooh, i forgot.. now ur frens gets the priority isn't it. I'm not your scape goat. And I do have feelings too. Im not gonna book this movie thingy online or whatever shit this is. my mood is simply spoilt. I'm gonna off my phone. And I dunwan to talk to you.
In anyways.. work today seem pretty find. Only it's my first time going to the HR dept, to ask them expedite the case urgently. And worst, I went to the wrong person to ask.. Why didn't I even think of checking things up in the first place? I dunno. maybe I'm just too new to this job. I have to learn along the way. It's not like reading from a textbook and you can just memorize and guide you. There's not even senior officers to guide you. You have to be independent.. All by yourself. But then again, at least with the colleagues who are in the same shoes as you.. they are willing walk you through.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. It's late bf mum birthday today. Happy Birthday once again. I hope I get to see them this Sun, no last min changes please. :DLabels: mad about you
♥ Metro Sale: Here I Come. ♥
Thursday, April 29, 2010 ( 11:14:00 PM )
I took half day. Met fafa. Went to karaoke @ Bedok Cash Studio. We kept on singing for 4 hours.. And the staff there will remind you.. you can sing all you want untill the next booking. Me and Fafa were like.. "Okay.. we had enuff. We sing until cannot sing already" BREATHLESS! Haha. I think my colleagues may think I'm crazy.. someone who is pretty obsessed with shopping.Haha.Believe it or not, I'm taking half day cos I want go out and have fun.. at the same time I'm going to metro expo sale and karaoke? Haha. Ooh wells, think whatever you want. My perception is that. I am entitled to 18 days of leave. And if this leave remains unconsumed, by the time I have to clear it.. I'm taking leave for the sake of taking leave. I dun want be like those people who are forced to clear leave at the end of the year.. and ended up staying at home with nuthing to do.. with nowhere to go. Hurhur. So I'm trying to play smart once a while.
Besides, if i got no more leave to take, sumtimes there such thing as MC too rite? Haha.. Touchwood lah. I dunwan to be that naughty girl.
Surprisingly.. I didnt buy any top today. (: Just one black/gold bag, 2 office pants, swimming pants, lingerie, $15 top for mum.. and all this ended up to 135 bucks! almost 250 for shopping this month? I'm feeling the pinch of being broke soon. But hey, these stuffs are really cheap you know. And I dun buy it for fun. and I sun shop for fun. Mostly, I shopped during sales. My hands are trained to pick only sales items. Haha. But shopping a lot during sales, can make you go broke to.. I spent like almost $100 plus alone. Ans I hate the part that when I go shopping, I didnt bring along any membership card. Like now, I forgot to ask my aunt for her metro card. Haish. Such a forgetful bigspender.. -.- Now I'm having this kind of feeling that I'm gonna be dead broke soon. But good news is that. after next week.. it's payday :D
IsyAllah I'm gonna make it through my expenditures.. and control my spendings till my next pay. Hopefully (:Labels: Random shopping
♥ One Moment With You Again. ♥
Tuesday, April 27, 2010 ( 12:34:00 AM )
A Date With Him.
"Yes, one moment we are okay.. one moment we are not. And the next moment we are ok. The next moment we are not. This goes like a cycle.. "
Prolly all we need is more mutual understanding; learn the Do's and Don'ts. And perhaps it will solve the matter. Like how he said it.. settle the metal (*settle the matter*) He's on standby for tonight.. I met him at 6.30pm @ Orchard mrt. We had dinner at far east. I've had mine Hotplate chicken noodle. He had his Hotplate seafood noodle. Let me tell you this, the noodle is nice! Wheee~ Talk n talk n talk during dinnerr.. Then by 8.00pm, went back to Ion for him to punch his card. He is suppose to stay at work till his work finish lor. But who cares? All that guy know is that the official time he has to end work is 6.00pm. Plus, staying late at work is not considered as overtime for his company. Whoever at work called him, he just missed their call. Hmmmmmm. *Signs of defiant/stubborness* Then we're off to Dhoby Ghaut. Alamak. Dhoby Ghaut happening lah. There's BODY SHOP sale at the atrium. I was so tempted to buy the body soap.2 for $14.90.. But the queue is so damn freaking long! Dropped the idea. Right outside the entrance of Plaza Singapura, then there's this book fair sale organized by carrefour. If you're a bookworm, you gonna love the sale.. Popular books by Dan Brown, Stephen King, Gossip Girl novel collections, etc are up for grabs! One for $8.. Five for $35. Hahaha! So tempting nyer. This time round, I buy it.. New moon by stephanie meyer.
It seems that me and him are pretty ok now. We talked things out. And the verdict is.. he won arguing with me. I cant came up with a come back. Yes,.. he won the debate about the 2nd option. When we part our ways at dhoby ghaut mrt station, we had our last hug.Labels: a smile on my face
♥ The Longest Fight Ever. ♥
Monday, April 26, 2010 ( 10:36:00 PM )
YESTERDAY, WE ARGUED FOR 2 HOURS! 10PM - 12AM..
I dun know whats wrong with him. I had a big fight.. and I know I am taking the risk.. And I'm gonna face the consequences. Moreover, just as I thought, I'm having my menses now. Something that I should have warned him. Cos my personality and his collides when I'm having menses especially. I tend to be straight forward.. and we will be argumentative. Now, we are arguing about 2nd option. And we both have different perception. He dun like to be my 2nd option. And I know that... I am clearly aware of that too. But then again, I wanted to go out with him so badly today... that I just have to ask him out.
The story is like this, me and lynn went out to bugis. I met her at 4pm.. But she suddenly has to go off by 5pm. And this mr a wants to meet me. But he never really ask me out. He only say.. I'm free today. So when I told him I'm out with Lynn... he said "Ooh so we not meeting today" Lynn asked me out first. so I went out with Lynn. But even though, I asked him along.. so that we could sepnd time more together. However, he declined. Wow... Greatness!
Then after Lynn has to go off. I don't want to be stranded alone.. the feeling kindda suck. If you know what I mean. So that's why I need to go out somewhere.. with anybody.. any place.. anyone! My Saturday is alrd burnt at home. and I dun wan likewise for my Sun. Thats y i asked mr. a out again.. saying that Lynn has to go off at 5pm. I was asking him if he wants to go out with me. I called and sms him but he's asleep. By the time he called me back, I dunno what to say to mr. a actually.. so I missed his call. I'm dissapointed in him. Its 6pm and I'm already with Farhanah. Thanks Farhanah for today! We decided to go cycling at ECP. But he didnt reply my smses.. until 10pm at night. We then quarrelled.
A: Hello u still outside ?
S: hello. u saw me outside? watcha doing?
A: No u said u going out w Lynn
S: I met her at 4pm. She had to leave by 5pm.. den after that, I'm like stranded. I tried contacting u. bt u tk layan. we meet tmr?
A: Stranded? I was sleeping. I wake up call u back u nvr pick up.. Hmm stranded where?
S: at ecp.. emo2.. haish.. u lah tido mati. I give u wake up call u tk dgr hp bunyi. isyhh.. hanya tuhan saja tahu ape yang I rase
A: hmm I ask u out but u wan w ur fren. Kene paitao carik I. I call u pon u tk angkat. Tdo at ecp ke?
S: my fren ask me out ferst. U lambat sangat, I waited u to ask me out to eversince mon sey, but ur too busy. u ask me out just by saying "i'm free today" u nv ask me out properly like.. "u want to go out today" if u dun like i cari u to go out, den ok... i can go out all by myself
A: hmmm yelah. i already say im free to go out today, bt u gt plans w my frens, then kene paitao aru ask me out properly.. im not ur 2nd option k. despite that i still call u maybe we cn meet. but u nvr pick up or return my call and it's my fault?
Wahhh. I think that is like his longest msg that he typed so far. Seriously.. i did ask u out just now in the afternoon. I asked u out properly.. if you want to join me to go out with Lynn, Don't just anyhow say.. without even doing any research. I know what I'm doing.. and I know what I'm talking about. I did ask you out.. and yet I asked you out again and again.
S: i know u dun like to me my 2nd option. but even though my good times and bad time.. i still do look for u. prolly, looking for u is like a habit for me already. but if u dun like, ok. I'm not gonna do it again..ur no longer gonna be my 2nd option bie. i know u return my call.. but u nv try hard enuff. if u truly want to meet me today.. u'll call again to ask me out. skrg dah mlm aru u nk kisah i gi mane? its too late
A:no matter what i say it's gonna be my fault right. Hais forget it. Good night then.
S: Fine go ahead and sleep. u dun even care abt this conversation do you? well, this conversatione ends here.. nite.
WAHLAU. dun say good night in the middle of an unfinished conversation. i hate it when you say good night like this.. it shows like you dont care. And i am angry.. really damn angry now.. It is really impt for him to be my 2nd option. cos if i go out alone.. Den I kene musibah ke.. like tenggelam ke, minor accident ke, rogol ke, rompak ke, pengsan di tengah jln ke.. *touchwood to all these* and he's not gonna be there. So if sumthing happen to me outside, and all because of ur egoistic 2nd option and u dunwan go out with me.. Let's say when something happen to me.. will you ever regret it? Don't you partly feel responsible that this happened because you dun wan to go out with me?It happened because you can't take care of me. You don't want to take care of me.
A: what else can i say. everything i say is gonna be my fault right. and i do care. but pple say its too late. and thanks for putiing ur frens before me and make me ur 2nd option. i'll do the same too
S: hellloooooo. you put ur frens ferst before me ok.going out w them on wed n thurs.. bt nt a single day w me?u met ur frens this wk.. and I didn't go out w anybody.. until today I go out w lynn. I made u c ur mistakes. n u made me c mine.so its not totally ur fault. i'm at fault too.stop saying i blamed you.. cos i know i played a part too.haiyo.. i dun totally blame you
A: Ok next time I wan mt my frens then they paitao me the n i go out w u. Anw they ask me out wed and thurs.. u didnt. so ya
S: Check ur msgs baby. i asked u out on mon to check ur schedule so that we cn go out n meet. but i guess meeting me is not impt to u. u nv get back to me.things happen unpredictably.i dun ask for unpredictable things to happen.. and if ur frens paitao u.. and im free on that day, who cares abt me being 2nd option. cos I know that I could mt u and spend time. thats all that matters.. i dun care if im ur 2nd option..cos i knw i get to c u agn. bt u just dun feel this way.
S: baby its late, u sleep ferst k.imy
There you go.. one of my longest smses ever. Everytime I mentioned about his frens.. ade je die nk back up his frens. I mean I didnt really blame his frens or talking bad abt them.. but the way he's treating me, its the same as he is also putting his frens ferst before me. Like when he go with a double date with his frens.. why didnt he bring me.. Oooh I forgot. I'm not his girlfrend and one of his frens is not attached. So he must accompany his fren whom is single, thats y he nv ask me out even though I'm free on that day. When my family has plans with me but cancel on me.. I never blame my family for this. And during this time when me and mr. a is at home.. i nvr asked him out.. cos i know he dun like this 2nd option thingy. I can live with that. But if i'm stranded outside, and he is just too egoistic.. I try to make things work now. I try to let him know that 2nd option is ok. cos at the end of the day.. i will still look for him and he will sill look for me. In the end, at he end of the day, we need to be there for each other. Don't say I am not reasonable here.. cos i really am. You just have to think again about what we both said. I wont argue for fun, cos its a waste of time.
"I know your sleeping.. but I guess I say this anyway.. I know you'll be damn angry about asking u out when Lynn had to go off early. I know u dun like to be my 2nd option.. but i truly want to meet u today. that's y i ask u out.. even though i know i am gonna face the consequences like now. i want to let you know that 2nd option is not a bad thing you know.it's just how the way we see it.im sorry if im being too thick skinned or ignorant enuff to still ask u today. but if given a choice, i would still choose to go out w u still at the end of the day. (That's y I ask you out non-stop. But u dunwan meet me) Calm down k.. i know how u feel dear. "
I can feel your frustrations.. But I just have to knock some sense into you. Please, understand how I feel too. Labels: mad about you
♥ Inspired By: Dear John. ♥
Sunday, April 25, 2010 ( 12:57:00 AM )
You know I got a lot of words to say to you.. But I'm not saying it. I'm just typing it here.. for no reason. I've just finished watching Dear John now.. And it made me think about you. And I cried. I dont think I can even watch love stories anymore. Cos everytime when I watched it, It will just remind me of you. It reminded me on how u cant be there for me when I need you.. it reminded me how I cant meet you when I wanted to.. It reminded me how badly I wanted talk to you, but the moment you picked up the phone, you just had to end the call.. It reminded me how patiently I wait for your msgs, it took you so long to reply.Sometimes, I just wish that we could have done more than this.Why can't we just do normal things which other people does. Why do we have do be different? I mean we are dating but we're not officially together? All th e more that I am puzzled. How badly do you want me in your life now? Slowly, I began to realize that even though it is more than one whole year since I've known you,.. Actually I don't know the real you. I only know you through smses, I know you when you called me, I know you when you msn with me, I know you when we're out together. But most of the time.. I don't know you. I don't know the things you do when you're not with me. I don't know what you did with your friends, Your not willing to share it with me do you? And I have to keep on finding things on my own. I do admit, I keep things from you as well. There are many other things I've never told you.. there many other things that I should have said. But given the fact that we are living our lives like this.. do you think I even have the time to tell you what I should have told you? When we meet, it doesnt even last for a day. When we sms, its not like we could talk about anything under the sun. When we talk on the phone, its just a short conversation. When we msn, you are always "Away". So where is there time for me to say? I really want to share with you everything. I want to share my life with you. But right now, I think I couldnt. I'm feeling as if I'm being playing in and out. I should have told you before I fall in love with you, don't play with my heart. But I guess its too late to tell you nw.. Cos I felt like I've been toyed. Before I made the decision to leave you.. I need you to tell me those words.. that you don't love me, that you don't miss me, that you don't want me, and you don't need me either, Then only I'll be sure that I've said my last goodbye. I am sorry that I have the thoughts to leave you.. My patience has its limits my dear amri. And I duno what I am doing with you. I have to put up with you all these one yr plus that we've known each other. But day by day, I just find it harder for us.. Don't you think so too. Just think about if we gonna stay on for the rest of our lives.. its not gonna work., unless we are doing something about it now. Open up your eyes please.. See that I'm right in front of you. But if you're blinded by everything else, you're not gonna see me in your life. And I'm not gonna be part of your life. Cos you don't see me. From there, you already know that you cant see right thru me. Frankly speaking.. you're the worst guy I've ever met, but you're yet the sweetest and the nicest and the cleverest and the hunkiest and the mischevious and the lovable guy that I'ver known.On top of these, you're the most toughest guy that I have to dealt with. For all these things, I love you.. I really do. But,.. (there's always a but).. I'm not sure where life would take us to. I cant even imagine we're gonna be together much longer that I thought. Because for simple reasons, just ask urself this question.. "I Love You?" And if you really do, I'm happy about it. Hoever, think again. It could have been just plain words. Your words can't be trusted. Love is trust, and I dont trust you now. Cos I dun want to be deceived.. You've hiding too much things frm me is good enough already, and you being busy with your life is good enuff already. You have your friends.. You have your family. YOU DONT NEED ME. But I dont know why.. the more I tried to leave you. The more I tried to say. I know when you're away.. I got no one else close. Except Him, and I know God will take care of me. I thank you that your distance apart from me.. make me realize that I am not alone. Thank you.Labels: movie you should catch, mr.a
♥ I Can't Get You Out of My Head. ♥
Saturday, April 24, 2010 ( 8:25:00 PM )
I'm so bored at home now. I have no plans today.. Been staying a home 24/7.. and I felt that it's enuff to kill me already. Haish.. Someone give me sumthing to do please!
I am watching the mr.vasantham star.. but then again, half of the words that they're talking about.. I dont understand. Okay, don't lie Sara.. EVERY SINGLE word that they talked about I dun understand. Haha. I watched it cos Farhanah's dancing in it.. you did great babe.. Even on of the judges said - "The best dance so far".. Woah. Member kembang ah? Hehe.
*Upload Pics Soon* (Can't upload pics.. yet.. Must Find the cable. URGHHH.)
I wanted to go out with mr.a badly.. but he's just too busy for me. Firstly, he's occupied with work.. Secondly, he has his friends for social life. Thirdly, his bike create some what problem.. that y his bike is in the workshop now. Where he got time for me? He's on the way to work today.. when his bike broke down at the expressway. Fyi, I don't even know that has a bike already. He never told me..Nowadays, I just feel I'm nt so close with him anymore. Eversince last week, when he woke up late to meet me.. I changed my feelings towards him. I just don't feel that important anymore. He has his friends now.. he don't need me. He's just like busy busy busy. And i just don't wish to know the fact if he's really busy or are these are just his dumb plain excuses?
Nothing hurts more than to learn the truth.
I feel sad.. and pathetic.. and lonely. Maha Suci Engkau ya Allah, adakah ini salah satu cubaan untuk hamba Mu ini.. Jika ialah benar, daku bermohon, berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk menghadapi segala-galanya ini. Kepada Mu aku berserah. Amin.
I'm keeping my distance away from you. If you want me.. you'll come looking back for me.. Haish. There's no other feeling that feels so much worst right now, other than staying at home and thinking about the one whom you want to meet.. the one whom you want to be with. And the next worst thing is, you cant think of anything else to do, even though you know that there's so many stuffs can be done at home.. For example, I can choose to clean my room.. I can clean the house. But I dun feel like doing all this things. I'm feeling down down down down down.
"Mr. a.. you're really keeping things away from me. First about ur iphone. Second, about ur facebook. Third, about ur bike. If you're playing this game.. Let me tell you this. I've been playing it all along. I'm am prepared to let it all out, to be open and honest with you all this while.. but not anymore. We'll just play things fair and square. This is your game."Labels: mr.a
♥ Here I Go Again. ♥
Thursday, April 22, 2010 ( 1:05:00 PM )
Now he’s very busy with work. Hardly have the time for me.. Hardly have the time to msg me also, right? And I.. I hardly have time to stay awake at night and sms with mr.a. I’ve becoming the person who will be going home after work.. watch tv, and then fall asleep at the couch. Omgg. All the time I only spent time with no one, but myself. I seriously need to get a life now. Haish! Why is life that pretty boring?
Whenever I'm at work.. I'll get sleepy all over again. Haish. I think I need a break ): Can I have a break? Can I have a kit kat? Hmmm. I know I may bore you people now. I dun have to mood to even do anything, or think about anything. But let me tell you this, come and join me to see the way how mr. a has been treating me lately.. I think its gonan be interesting.. And all the things that he has done for me countless of times.. he's doing it again. Haha. I know, my life is pretty boring. I talked about no one else, except for mr. a. My life is about mr. a.
Here's a summary of how me and him are going..
19-Apr-2010
I'm the first one to wish him good morning.. And I'm the one the first to wish him good night. He did wish me a good morning, but there's no good night. Then, when I said.. I miss you. And he said.. I miss you too. Well, what's the point of missing each other wen we're not doing anything about it? Do we really meant it when we say it..
20-Apr-2010
I asked him to check his schedule this week so that whenever he's free we could meet, but there's no reply. Because he's busy with work until at about 10pm, den he reply.. And when he got home, he called me. I woke up from my sleep and answered his call,.. And since I’m sleeping, he ask me go to sleep. Our conversation didn't last for more than 30 seconds.
21-Apr-2010
I expressed my feelings that nowadays he's very busy. He told me that it's all because he has to rush his work till end of May. Even so,.. he could go out with his friends for dinner. And he still haven't get back to me on which day he's free this week. I'm left with 22-Apr-2010 (Thurs) only for him to go out with me. The rest of the days, I wanna keep myself busy.
22-Apr-2010
He's out with his friend's again.. at about 9.45pm. Going out late at night.. Wow. yesterday and today he meet up with his friends. So much for meeting his friends and not me? I am assuming now, that since he didn't tell me which day he's free to go out with me, this means that he dunwan to go out with me. All his free days had already been spent with his friends. He would rather go out with his friends cos they stayed around his neighbourhood, where as I live far away frm him.
**Every time, I assured myself to think positive.. For example, he might be stress and tired with work.. Thats y he needs social life to release his tension with friends. But this doesn't mean that he could continue to be like this.. Cos I felt like I'm being neglected forever. Am I the only who always think about us? Whereby I feel that you on the other hand, don't bother. Look at just how we are msging each other. Inconsistent. And day by day.. I cant think of the right words to say to you anymore. I'm starting to just don't bother.Labels: silence is your game
♥ I'm Talking To Myself. ♥
Tuesday, April 20, 2010 ( 9:42:00 PM )
Hello.. Hello? Hello?? He...llo????
Is his phone dead or alive?
It feels so quiet now..
He's silent.
And I dunno the reason y.
The last time he said yesterday, "My iPhone hang"
There, I don't know any news now.
Is it natural for me to react like this?Imy. (OOOh, I just got a msg frm him. He's still at work!)Labels: silence is your game
♥ Easy To Please. Am I? ♥
Monday, April 19, 2010 ( 10:00:00 PM )
Yesterday.. Just as when I thought he's the evil one. He made my heart melts.
6:44AM
A- Dear, gooooooood morning!
I left his msg unreplied
11:52AM
A- Still snoring?
S- Awake now. good morning!you woke up early today.
A- Hmmm of cos.. Later dear angry w me..
S- Why would dear be angry with you? u nt going lunch with her today.. all the more u cn wake up late today rite?
A- Hmm.. Oh then he wake up early for nuthing la.Poor him!
S- Haha. we going lunch today? or we going out today? or neither?
A- We go watch movie can?
S- This is the best you can do to make up for yesterday? Dear is still wondering why you never reply her msg yesterday. You must have been really busy..that u made her wait n wait for ur reply.
A- Oh he was sleeping that's why he woke up at 5am.
S- wow. he woke up really early.. dear is impressed.
You know, Saturday's lunch meet up..he said i didnt gave him a wake up call and even he did set the alarm to wake him up.. he nv hear the alarm ring. Tido mati.. (Sleep very hard to wake up) So that's why we didn't meet for lunch. Today, he got all day to make it up for it la. Lucky, I dun have plans.. This guy always ask me out last minute one. He thinks I'll always be free for him issit? Cos actually, I intended to visit late bf family.. But late bf mum will be going to Johore. So yeah, I spent my day with mr. a.
Hehe. And we watched movie at AMK Hub. I made him come all the way here la.. cos I very lazy to go far. Anyway, he did a great mistake yesterday.. And since he promised me tha he will watch Rec 2 with me.. we catch it at 3.30pm show. Meet up at AMK mrt 2.30pm, had lunch at Banquet. This part is sweet ok.. at banquet.. I only have to sit down.. And he'll do the walking. Ask me what I want to eat.. Ask me what I want to drink..And he buy for me chicken rice.. And he buy for me Ribena.. Once a while, I feel like a princess. If you're like this as always.. It will be like a dream come true. But nah.. you're like this today cos you have to make it up for not lunching with me yesterday. :D
After movie, we had Koi milk tea. I'm beginning to love it.. Nice ah. But forever long queue sey the shop.. And it's mr a ferst time trying it by the way. Hehe. Then we went to the Mc Donald's drive thru at AMK. Chill at a nearby playground. Then I suddenly ask him.. "You really intend to keep me till 25?" Then he asked, "what makes you think that".. Frankly speaking.. I just want to know if he wish to be more than frens with me or not. Cos as feelings develop.. what we said previously wouldn't mean the same compared to wat we are saying now. It don't mean as much previously.. and we could mean th ewords we said now. But I know, I have to respect his decision. I dunwan to pursue my probing further.
At 8.30pm, reached amk mrt.. Said our good byes.. And he smsed me, to ask if I reached home. Wow. This is like one in a million things that you would do, you know that. Mwaaah. *I'm talking about April 18th people. Plus, don't be as impressed bout mr.a as i do.. cos he's just unpredictable. Mark my words yeah.Labels: a smile on my face
♥ I Can't Hold This Any Longer. ♥
Sunday, April 18, 2010 ( 11:33:00 AM )
I just feel so sad.. and i'm not sure if I could take this anymore. I don't want to give up in life just yet, but my patience has its limit. I msged you yesterday at 8:48pm.. asking "halo..ngah uat ape dear". Only today at 6.44am.. you replied "Dear gooooooooood morning".
Not replying my msg is your biggest mistake. And using overslept as an excuse for not meeting me, is your biggest mistake. Let me ask you this.. just what are you thinking ur doing? Reply me as and when you like.. Go out with me as and when you like.. Call me as and when you like..You're doing whatever as and when you like.You know, sometimes I have this kind of feeling whereby, your beloved friends is placed more important than me. And I really do understand that I am not your girlfriend. I am just your friend for goodness sake. So who am I to know your whereabouts and what your doing kindda stuff. Who am I to get involved in your life. I am in no position to say anything to you ok. And clearly I do know the definition of friendship and relationship.
If you're doing all this things again, then I duno what to say. Where do I actually stand in your life.. you making me feel as if I am nobody and I am equally less important. I don't think I know you at all. And I don't think we could work out. Because why.. I hate the kind of feeling when other guys want to meet me, I had to said no. Other guys want to talk to me, I had to missed their call intentionally. Other guys msg me, I had to leave their msgs unreplied. How I wish instead of those guys doing those stuffs, it was you. Do you know how much it hurts to realize that when I chat with a guy, its not you. And when I talked to a guy on the phone its not you. And when I sms a guy, it's not you. Morever, i really do wish it was you.
I began to learn what I want in life now. Life is too short, and we had to treasure all the things we had. And if you notice that you have been missing from my life. I'll be missing from yout life too. Let us together be "MISSING IN ACTION" from each other. I am sure it's gonna be fun. *sarcasm* Here I am, crying again for you. And thoughts of I should let you go fills my head. If you want me back, you'll come running after me. If not, I'll say my last goodbye.
I'll be alone, on my own.Labels: shut up and let me go
♥ Don't Remind Me Of My Saturday. ♥
Saturday, April 17, 2010 ( 11:05:00 PM )
(@1:05pm) Binget sakkkkk!
I am suppose to meet mr.a today.. But until now he haven't wake up. Then what's the point of making a promise to me, that you can wake up early.. but in actual fact. we can't go out for lunch today at 1pm. Don't make promises which you can't keep!!! I am god damn angry. The thing is, I will be having a bbq this afternoon at East Coast park with my dear polytechnic friends. And I want to go cycling with Farhanh at about 3 or 4pm. So I try to make time for him today. But then, see now what happens.. he's still sleeping! Haiyo. Heart pain.
Isnt' it kindda irritating? I wanted to meet him on Thursday, he said he's tired. And when he wanted to meet me Friday (yesterday), I had plans shopping with my friends. At least I did ask him along yesterday, but he didn't want to follow. And by yesterday's nite, he's out with his friends chilling. And now he woke up late, so we can't go out for lunch. How much worst can things be? Plus.. I did tell him that we can meet up for dinner tomorrow,if only we cant make it today, but he reminded me that Monday is a working day. If we keep on remain like this, what am I suppose to do now?
Ur off days on Sat and Sun doesn't come by that easily. I felt that ot only comes once in a blue moon every month. And now, when this is the time for the "once in a blue moon" to happen, we wasted it like it didn't even matter to us. omgg, I hate to sit and wait for your sms, or call.
----------------------------
(@ Night)
It's a rainy day.. But our life must still go on. Went to ECP. But before that, met up with Fazees, Rab, Farhanah and Kenneth at Singpost ferst. It feels so good to see you guys! :D *You're being missed* At night, had the bbq.. then went to chill at Mc Cafe - Marina Square.
Labels: School life in NYP, shut up and let me go
♥ I Got My Accessories. ♥
Friday, April 16, 2010 ( 11:05:00 PM )
Added to my wardrobe! (:
For dinner, me and Amelia went to Ion's Burger King. Had our student meal, and went shopping ant Forever 21 plus Cotton On. Been walking around Ion and Wisma Atria. But it's too bad for us.. We felt that the shop closed early tonight. I can't get my Havaianas.. there's no black and gold. No time to hunt my desired slippers at other shops. It's closed by 10pm.Labels: Random shopping
♥ Let Me See You Again, Please. ♥
Thursday, April 15, 2010 ( 10:03:00 PM )
I wanted to go out with mr. a today.. but he said, nah.. today i tired la.
If he's really tired, then why yesterday when I ask him to meet me. He actually said "see how". Another thing if you really like a person.. no matter how tired you are, you will still meet the person. Right? Haish. This is what some time people meant about sacrifice. He can actually learn to sacrifice. If he really has no interest in meeting me, den say so lah. OOOh, I get it now. I'm just your fren. You're such a guy that I had difficulty understanding with. Do you know that? At this point of time, I'm not sure if we really can work out or not. You are such a hack care/don't care guy. And you already admitted it urself the other time.
When will you start to care about what I feel.. about what I think. This is not just about what you feel, you know that? I have feelings too.
I really want to watch the show rec 2. But tmr I'm going shopping. Saturday I'm having this bbq pit. The 2 days that he wanted to meet me, I can't make it. And today I wanted to meet him, he's tired? Like whaaaaat. Tired is not an excuse. ANYWAY, IF WE MEET UP.. we will be just watching movie or sitting around. We are not like hiking, jogging or running or whatsoever around town. So much for complaining that you don't like work.. But at the end of the day, you will be the one who wants to go home & sleep early. In return, you're like the committed soul in your work. You are really being ironic yourself. Also, I'd be a bastard myself if I ended up watching rec 2 with someone else, cos i already promised to watch it with him.omgg.
I really hate it when this happens.. * Enough about mr. a, let's move on.
.Happy 22nd Birthday Shukri.
If I'd had not been going out with mr. a.. I would be going out with Shukri. I need to gave him his presents. Bought Fossil wallet and Body shop stuffs for him. Next i'm either gonna get that Famos Amos cake or Posh brownie.But I cant order the cake just yet. Shukri cancelled out on me today. He told me that tmr will be his ippt test. So he can't celebrate b'day with me, and ippt is his main focus nw. On 2nd thoughts, why are those people that I wanted to go out with... dun want to go out with me today..
Anyway, I found something interesting to do in life. Blogshop anyone? Haha.
Labels: singing happy birthday to you
♥ It's Time For A Meet Up, Now. ♥
Tuesday, April 13, 2010 ( 11:20:00 PM )
Today's a date with him, again, since Sat n Sun (last week) we didn't see each other. Although I told him I'll be going to Batam last weekend. At last, there's no Batam trip with family for me... I couldn't find my passport in time. And so my trip got cancelled. Then, I should be going out with mr.a right? However, over the weekend I'd suspected that mr.a already had plans with his frens. And I'm right. He went to Arab St on Sat .. Have rojak for dinner on Sun. That's why I don't want to bother him anyway. I'd made my own plans and I chose to go out with him this week instead.
1) We ate dinner at Banquet @ Raffles Hospital. We saw his colleague.. and his colleague's wife.. and his colleague's baby. Basically, it's his colleague's family la. Haha. And all I know his colleague's child is a baby.. but is it a boy or a girl? I'm not sure.. Well, my point is.. his colleague's baby is super cute lah! Awwwww. Adorable kid with big eyes.
2) It's a rainy day.. And with a weather like this, it didn't help us much to decide where to go after dinner. When I wanted to go to Parkview Square.. there's no sheltered place for us to sit. Everywhere's wet and it's still drizzling. Then, Mr. a decided "You see which bus we could take la.. If there is a bus to your place." Like, omg! Did I hear him correctly? This means that he wants to send me home indirectly? Huahua. I told you he had changed himself somehow nowadays. But it's hard to tell if he's gonna change to be a better person for now, or forever.
3) Last resort, we sat at a bus stop and board bus number 80 to Vivo city. As, I kept on denying that there's no bus to my place. but SERIOUSLY, there's no bus to my place. Also. I didn't know bus 80 passes by my workplace.. and it's like a 10 mins ride in the bus.
Before I could tell him that we'll be reaching Vivo city when the bus is passing by Duxton.. he said, we are already at Harbourfront. I refused to believe him.. But in actual fact.. we are really at Harbourfront by then! Belonyer kamu Sara! Hahaha!-.- I chatted with him about what I felt over the past few days and so did he. the way we are reacting towards each other. I guess so far now we are okay, let's hope for the better. Oh ya.. By the way, he didnt accept the fact that I called him boy bunga. Even though I have evidence that he said he's emo nowadays, and I have to ask him out everytime, and also I have to do a guy's job everytime. He's living in denial. Haish. Ok, mr.a. As long as you ar happy, I'm happy. You can say whatever, and I will tell you that I believe whatever. Yuu're so ego ok! Haha.
~I'm in love. :D Ooh, Really?
Labels: a smile on my face
♥ Good Moments Last For A While. ♥
Sunday, April 11, 2010 ( 11:33:00 PM )
Somehow.. I had this feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night. I gotta feeling. Boom BOOM pOW. Haha. Stop ur nonsense sara. -.- I ate Sakura with fafa today. Yummy. Place a reservation at Sakura International Buffet - Cairhill. Plus, shopping at Topshop and Fossil.
Then, a climax happened. So much for feeling that tonight is gonna be a good night. Actually it isnt. What's wrong with mr a today? I think we are fighting. War of words.
Amri: Dear tgh uat ape
Sara: I aru je nk msg u sey..tapi u dah msg dulu (: i ngah mkn dinner nie dear. u ngah uat pe? dah mkn?
Amri: I tgh mkn rojak b. Mkn je ingat my girl yg tembam ni. Haha
Sara: Huh.. bie?u ok tk?asal mcm lovey dovey ngn I tibe2 nie. haha
Amri: Okla.. Tak lovey dovey ngn u la. Hmph
Sara: aik.. majok? tkmula gini, I'm starting to like the lovey dovey u bie.. mwaaah. u kt ne?
Amri: I'm near my place there..
Sara: okay.. with frens? i ate sakura today. kenyang sey bie.. buncit ):
Amri: Hmm with who? I'm w my fren
Sara: I'm w my fren also. Can i ask sumthing.. baby boy majok ke..
Amri: Hmm nvm la. U pon tk suke pe
Sara: jgn la gini.. i tk ckp i tk suke. i cume heran.. last time u tk cam gini. tadi i was merely asking. n nw mcm my fault gitu uat u majok?haish
Amri: Hmm then who else make me majok? U at home?
Sara: I'm otw back alrd. U at home? I knw I make u majok. I'm sorry k
Amri: Ok. I'm goign bk too
Sara: Abeh tk accept my apology?bie.. tkmu majok la ngn I sayang.yuhooooo. tkmu majok ngan I ok..peace!
Amri: Peace? Hmmm ok
Sara: Tkmu ok je lah.. haish. I dah try pujuk u sey. Abeh u tknk. Dun say I didnt try.. but u choose to majok. Up to u la.
Amri: Hmmm. U rili gt no patience. Ok I gt nth to say. Gd night.
OMG. Just because I asked him about why he is being lovey dovey so suddenly.. It leads to the extent that he said I have no patience? What the hell. Is it wrong for me to ask such question.. what's worng with you? You do not need to accuse me that I'm not patient! And if I had no patience with you, Right from the start, I would have left you long time ago.
Because I do believe that our relationship would somehow work out one day.. I choose to believe in myself that we could go through this together. But seeing the fact that you already msg me those pathetic words. I think this will all change every single thing now. Including my feelings for you. I don't bother anymore about you baby.
Plus, if you really think that I;m not good enuff for you.. Then I'm sorry to say ur ex has more patience than me. I'm getting the whole picture now. Probably you haven't gotten over her yet. And the way you told me stories that you ignore her.. You actually hide those stories that you contacted her. Haven't we gone through enough about ur ex already? Screw this shit! If you're not moving on with life, I am.
Tell me now, a reason for me to stay with mr. a. Because I'm losing my will power to love him day by day. Labels: shut up and let me go
♥ This Is My Saturday. ♥
Saturday, April 10, 2010 ( 11:22:00 PM )
Hello, Good Morning @ 6 a.m.. OOOhs. Joe McElderry..
Sing me to sleep please. Hehe. I watched his entire videos at youtube. Wondering who is he? XFACTOR2009 UK winner! yay. Love his voice, and love his smile. Awwwwww. If you heard him sing the song Dance with my father.. you can melt like and ice cube.
I'm sleeping late today. Cos I have no plans for later! So yeah, sleep late and wake up late on Saturday. Lazy Lazy Lazy Saturday.
Actually I was suppose to be meeting this guy that I got to know at facebook. But then again, I cancelled the meet up. Fyi, this is the 2nd time. Both of us are suppose to meet each other with one of our frens, best fren. Unfortunately, my gfs cant make it to accompany me. That's why I dropped the idea. Secondly, even if my gfs are free.. I think I dunwan to live in guilt that I'm actually doing sumthing that is wrong in my friendship with mr. a.. Living in a life of betrayal friends, if you get what I mean.
Lastly, if I've made up my mind to meet this new guy.. I know he'll be committed for a relationship. He's 27 years old. Who will not be committed at this kind of age? Right. OOOH WELL.. someone please tell me. Do I really know what I'm doing?
----------------
Back to the same old guy.. I think the sweet guy is back. He starts to be more caring. I didnt reply his msg yesterday.. Today, he msg me with a reminder that I haven reply his msg. Even still, he wished me good morning.
And when I didn't reply his msgs.. Due to I was busily playing a charadium game.He called to say good night before going to bed. And usually, we talked about 3 to 4 mins or so. But tonight, it's a conversation for neraly 15 mins! It's nice sometimes to hear ur voice again.
It makes me feel as if I'm having these kinds of imagaination abt him. And these little things, that you do.. could just make me fall back for you.
However, at the back of my mind.. I AM STILL IN DOUBT. Is he doing these things with his own initiatives. Or is he doing this because his frens has knocked sum sense into him?
Only god knows.
Labels: blogging this blogspot
♥ Selamat Tinggal Sayang. ♥
Thursday, April 8, 2010 ( 10:54:00 PM )
"At least lepas u ckp selamat tinggal I maseh cari u. tapi u nyer ego,u tk reply I.
Walaupn I ego, I tetap cari u sey selalu. U kalau tknk msg I,ckp je la.Tk yah nk salahkn apit plak.
U knw I was kidding rite.. Kalau u maseh fikir cinta I bukannyer utk u..dahlah..I tk tau ape lagik nk ckp. U nyer ego bie, ya ampun.ego I pon kalah tau tk..eeee! geram"
After work today, I went to John Little sale at expo. I did try to msg mr a if he wants to meet up. But he didnt reply. So I just walk around Expo and Tampines alone. When I was on the way home, he msg me with a question" Baby, wat u doin? Senyap aje".. I'm not the quiet one, you are.
Since both of us have iphone, i think its time for us to chat without even sending smses. So he introduced the yak yak messenger (An application just like msn, for iphones). Hoepfully it can save our bills though. But I think its a bit inconvenient to use.I bought pretzie for Late Bf Mum! And lingerie for myself.. Hehe. It's time to revamp my cupboard :D
At least.. everything's normal for now.I looked for him, even after he said goodbye (Selamat Tinggal) to me. I wanted to make sure that he really meant what he said. But actual fact, those are just words that he said when he's.. jealous? At last he apologized an we're okay for now. He said.. I'm sori. Love you.Labels: mad about you
♥ Yesterday And Today. ♥
Wednesday, April 7, 2010 ( 9:25:00 PM )
Today..
Because of what happened yesterday. He is totally silent today.. I pity myself at this stage of life. I like a guy who is difficult to deal with.. Ooh dear. Today.. I went out with lynn. It's a random meet up and we went to Vivo. Had dinner.. And there's a sale at topshop! (: Yes, I bought a top. Yay!
Our conversation yesterday.. 8:38:41 PM
Love.Sara - baby baby baby ooh
|a|m|r|i| - mamaku cayang
Love.Sara - haha.. yes dear, u uat ape bie?
|a|m|r|i| - dgr lagu u?
Love.Sara - uat bodoh. haha.. bored at hm ):
|a|m|r|i| - hahah kate mc
Love.Sara - tu ah. im looking forward for tmr alrd yay!.. i want to werk. i miss working. hahahaha.. u dgr lagu ape?
|a|m|r|i| - siaow.. i kalo boleh tanak
Love.Sara - we switch job for a day.. haha
|a|m|r|i| - nanti u pening eh
Love.Sara - haha
|a|m|r|i| - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvrFZFB1nNc&feature=related - asrap recommend (amri's best fren)
Love.Sara - luahan hati sedap. wait i listen ferst
Love.Sara - yang pakai cap tu apit?
|a|m|r|i| - mane la i tau
Love.Sara - hahaha.. abeh amri mane?
|a|m|r|i| - hehehe
Love.Sara - yeah, i remembered now..last time i like the Luahan Hati
|a|m|r|i| - hmm
Love.Sara - hmm je?
|a|m|r|i| - jiwang jugak ya kamu
Love.Sara - inilah namanyer naluri seroang wanita.. hahaha!
|a|m|r|i| - geram aje
Love.Sara - yah lah.. he's the one using the cap. confirm!
|a|m|r|i| - mcm ne u tau. kenal?
Love.Sara - u nguk video luahan hati, u knw its him. chey.. u tk tau i kenal die ke. lagu nie ditujukan utk i lor.. wahaha! actually, i pon tk tau i kenal die. geram bie? :D
|a|m|r|i| - ok
Love.Sara - bie!! ok je?
|a|m|r|i| - hais u g lah dgn die
Love.Sara - i gurau lah. dah la. i tknk gurau lagi. haish! jeles ke u? jeles maknanyer sayang tau. hahaha. come here baby
|a|m|r|i| - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k15rwTOD2YI&feature=related
|a|m|r|i| - i dedicate utk u.. selamat tinggal sayang
|a|m|r|i| OFFLINELabels: mr.a
♥ Today, I Felt Cheated. ♥
Tuesday, April 6, 2010 ( 12:32:00 AM )
I found out something about mr. a. And I don't wish to talk it here. *Cry.
Sara:
Hello!who is signore emre at facebook?I thought someone dun hv facebook.whaaaaaaaat? and to find out that u and Ann aini afre really frens?stop lying to me
Amri:
I nvr say we frens. I said I dunno. Now then u tell me, it makes sense. I think she anyhow add me in. Anw i'm just using it to c what is so good about facebook.Never really use it. So ya...
Sara:
Actually when I found out that you accepted her as a fren. I thought, y would u want to accept someone u dunno.u accepted her both in messenger and in fb now.if you really want to knw wats good about fb,u would hv tell me n i could show u wats gd and wats nt.i trust u, bt sumhow..is there sumthing that resticts you frm opening up to me?
Amri:
Wait u also acept pple that u dunno. But anw I nvr tok to her also. Dun even know who she is.
Sara:
Let me ask you again.. are u not opening up to me? and that we are keeping secrets from each other?
Amri:
No b. I nvr keep anything frm u
Does anything sound fishy here?If there is, highlight to me please. He did say that he dunno the girl.. okay fine! I give point to him.. but when I say he accepted the girl as a fren.. he starts to talk abt me accepting other guys as frens.Haish. When will he ever see that it is actually about him now.. and not me. Don't try to blam me when I'm blaming you. Learn to accept what wrong you have done. And stop living in denial!If you really said that you didnt keep any secrets from me.. why then not tell me about facebook? Ooh, I forgot. Facebook is not such a big deal for you. Right? Okay, go on.. I dun want to know anything about you and facebook.
You're asking for this, not me.
Another part of this story is that.. Ann Aini is actually my primary school fren. So I really wanted to know what is going on between these two people.. I dunno who to tryst. So I asked her personally by dropping her a message at fb. I knw it will sound kindda that I'm desperate or so to get to knw this Signore Emre guy initially.. However, at the end of the day.. I need to learn the truth.Sayang punyer pasal.
Siti Sara April 5 at 11:51pm - Hi babe. I realized sumthing from ur list of frens.. Who is Signore Emre? Can i get to know him better through u? .
Ann Aini April 6 at 5:31pm - frankly sara..i pon tk kenal sape tu Signore Emre..i pon tk ingat since wen dier ade dlm my frens list..klau u nk add dier,add je k..cos i myself tk ingat ler.. :) .
Siti Sara April 6 at 8:02pm - haha. alrite den.. thanks ya! (:
At least, I did have some peace of mind after msging Aini at facebook. So far now everything seems ok. But dun ever let me find out again, if this is actually a lie.Labels: mr.a
♥ He Already Has A Facebook. ♥
Monday, April 5, 2010 ( 10:47:00 PM )
Let me tell you a secret that I've just discovered - Psssssst! Mr a has a facebook! Whhhhaaaaaat?! and since when he has it.. Dec 14th. I'm just as shock as you are. Few days ago, I had this dream. That he has a facebook. and yes la.. my dream came true. In that dream, I've found him through one of my friend's contact list. In reality,I did exactly what I did in the dream. And I felt more cheated than shock.
Having to know that in messenger profile there's this girl..
And now at his fb also there's this girl.
See the girl name Ann Aini? What do u think I would feel.. That I'm just as less as important to you? Right.
All the while, less than 4 mths is what you've got to tell me.. but you didn't. If you've got nothing to hide, why not say it then.. If you're truly open and honest with me, why not tell me. Why let someone whom you don't know be your circle of friends in facebook? Why, why, why?
Do you really have to keep it away from me.
I have a million questions to ask you.. but I know it will remain unanswered. I have a million places to go with you, but I know I'll never get there. I have an entire lifetime to spend my days with you, but I just know.. that you'll not do the same.
I hate it when I love you, too much. Labels: mad about you
