♥ Because, Life Is.. ♥
Sunday, November 4, 2012 ( 9:52:00 AM )
Life.
Will there be someone who's gonna teach me how to cope with it.
It's tough. Getting harder than I thought.
Before it's too late. Before I'd say WHATEVER.
Because..
It brings no meaning when you're lonely.
It brings no meaning when you're talking to yourself.
Of course there are others who cares.
But for others who wish to be a part of your life and now they're not.
They'd start not to notice you even when you're trying to get their attention.
In just any moment now. I can say,
- I GIVE UP.Labels: mad about you
♥ What About Now? ♥
Saturday, August 28, 2010 ( 11:58:00 PM )
8.26am
Amri: Baby gd moaning..
Sara: yawns.. good moaning dear
Amri: Baby what time meeting me?
Sara: we'll stick to the 11am timing?
Amri: ok
Sara: we meeting straight at unisim right?
Amri: U want me pick u up issit?
Sara: hmmmm the sbs bus driver will be picking me up at 10 frm my bus stop actually.. but if u insist..den ok lor. Once u reach let me know
9.12am
Amri: Eh like that eh now.Hmm ok lor
Sara: I maseh majok ngan u tkkn u nk majok ngan i plak.mane i tk sedih..smlm ur like so busy to even layan me
Amri: ok baby 10 this motor driver will pick u up
4.02pm
Sara: Baby nk gi supper mlm nie?
4.30pmAmri: Supper
5.19pm
Sara: yerp2..haha.actually it was random. i haven really get to spend time w u this week
Amri: Aww how's ur briefing?
5.32pm
Sara: i fall asleep.. haha.. and the best part is, the briefing got refreshments.haish.. erm, breifing okok only
6.16pm
Amri: oh, u pon bedal refreshment
6.30pm
Sara: nooo.. i didnt bedal. not nice mah fasting mth eat outside during the day. baby nie..mentang2 i tk puasa..hmph!
9.06pmSara: u ngah uat ape?
11.04pm
Sara: time check.. i guess supper is not tonight. if ur busy.. just continue whatever ur doing bie. u've been busy frm ystrday.n i dunno w wat.maybe im not suppose to knw the reason beneath ur silence. hopefully u know wat ur doing rite nw.take care.good night
11.34pm
Amri: Sorry i put my ho ib silent mode while charging.. B sleeping already
*Notice the typo? Are you rushing to reply me or sumthing?Labels: mad about you
♥ Over A Small Matter. ♥
Thursday, August 26, 2010 ( 10:28:00 PM )
i am.. upset! shouldn't we be meeting?
Oh.. i guess its only me who thought that we are meeting. But actually its a meet up thats never meant to be. Just whatever ok? I'm having my PMS now.. and i guess he just don't get it. All I ask for.. is to see him this Sat.
This week.. we only see each other for like 3 hrs or less. And the meet up was only because of the randomness of watching step up 3d yesterday. And yes, I made him come all the way to AMK to watch the movie.. cos i dun feel like going anywhere further. I dunno if its tiring for him to finish werk at 4pm.. and go home to sleep. Then after breaking fast at 7pm, he left the house to ride back to work.. and then go back to work to punch card ard 8pm. And after all these he went to amk to meet me. No doubt he looks great in the boots and the jackets n stuffs like that. But then again.. even after the meet up I just feel empty. Till now
If i just met you for like 3 hrs yesterday.. and i got to know that saturday you cant spend time with me.. cos of your work. Then when would I see you again? I called him ok.
S: Saturday,so how? Whats the plan?
A: I finish work at 8pm
S: Then what time will u be reaching the uni
A: Around 11am
S: That means after that we will still go out
A: See if they call me to come back to work
S: ok.. then it means we wont be going out right. Sedihnye
When I thought Saturday was suppose to be his off day, he work till 5pm. When I thought he work till 5pm.. he finish at 8pm. When I thought he could go out with me, he has to say that his workplace might be calling him. When i thought prolly me and him can go out somewhere like Johore by bus, he thinks its better to go by car at night. so what now? Looks like I dun want to plan alrdy
I am not msging you. let me have some space of my own. let it us go to work without any good morning. let us go to bed without any good night. **Another thing is.. can i complain it here? he dun call me alrdy with his house phone. he msg me those like short words. and i dunno if this meet up matter to him or not. this is what happens when i get too emotionally attached to him. Great!Labels: mad about you
♥ Love The Way You Lie. ♥
Thursday, July 8, 2010 ( 10:03:00 PM )
Things have been sickening lately. There is no point arguing over and over again when you can't reach to a conclusion. I'm already at my boiling point.. and you can easily just screw this shit! It's easy for you to say things out of anger when you dun even think that what u said can hurt me this much. wow. You're capable of such things. I'm not impressed. My mind has not been thinking straight.. and I think im growing crazy. As much as I dun want to cry for mr a anymore, I am getting emotionally weaker.
S: Love the way you lie.. who you refering to
Mr a keeps quiet
S: bie. ans me. issit about me
A: y? u terase issit?
S: ya. if ur still not happy bout it can say la to me. but if ur nick is like that cos ur trying to let B know that we are not ok.. den ok lor im not angry bout it
A: Hmm y terase if u nvr lie right?
S: u sure i was lying.. when its u who consider it as lying jus because im not open n honest with you? cos till now im not sure wat is ur feelings towards me. i knoe u may seem ok wen we meet or wen we talk.but deep down inside i know i hv hurt u enuff. there is still a scar on a healed wound. i'm trying to clear this mess u know.. nobody say its gonna be easy.
And honestly.. i was doing what i was doing last time cos i thought i was single.there's no restriction on who i was dating n who i need to be frens with. i nv thought we had been all along like a couple. cos u keep on saying to hykel n firman that we are just frens. and i was uncertain of ur feelings towards me.. untill ur bday this yr. thats how long i waited to get an answer whether u do take me seriously or not.
And dun tell me i was lying to you.. cos this shukri thing was in the past. and when B brought this up,its just like a perfect timing that i have deceived you.which in the very first place, i really hv no intention of doing so. and u cn think whatever u like about me. All i know is.. i hv stayed true enuff to you from the very moment we have dated. the only person i called baby and dear is you. the only person i hold hands w is you. and the only person i kissed is you. and the only one in my heart is you.it's up to u to believe me or not.u have eyes.. u cn do ur own judging without anybody influencing you.
And I have been tolerating since monday to cheer u up. But i guess it's not working just fine rite.if u think im not being fair to you just by dating shukri..hv u think if u hv been fair?im not talking bout dating other gerls n being loyal.im talking bout other stuffs. if i had my weak point so do you.and i thought we are suppose to accept each other wen we are being ourselves the best.and im being myself now.whatever u are not good at.. i tried to learn, i tried to accept.i tried to forgive n forget.prolly u hv expected me to be open n honest..which i am not that good at.but i am still trying my best to tell u the truth and be as transparent as i can to you.and let me tell u this.. i am not good at explaining things.. and i am not good at telling the truth that can hurt other pple feelings.beacuse this is y i am taking my time to tell u bout shukri after all the mths we dated, and just as soon as u know bout shukriwhat hv u thought?that i hv another boyfriend.padahal padahal ah eh..because the reason y im not dating anymore is cos of you.you started to change things and i fall for you.and if u still can think im lying to u..up to you to believe it or not.cos i know im talking straight frm my heart.and im hurt that the man tha i love..trust his mind and feelings and his past more that he could trust me.dun let ur past make it easier for u to judge me that i am the same way wen it comes to deception.if ur really blinded by ur past,learn to let it go.
Now i want to ask u the question that i hv been dying to ask u.just what am i to you?hv u ever taken me seriously frm day one u know me? think about what i hv said. and for these answers.. kindly sms pls.dun yak2..later i nv get.i'll wait patiently. and bie.. i've explain myself again now.and u got me angry wen u beat ard th ebush esp wen u said y terase if nv lie?daripade msn sey i tanye2 u..and at last u end up being sarcastic.awesome!it's getting late..good nite dear.
Conversation ended. Time check, till now.. he's keeping quiet. I'm still waiting for his answer though. But i dunno how long more i can stand this. Its a pain to see the situation that we are facing. I'm not sure who to go to for help. Prolly I just have to settle this on my own. I'm like a trash.. left alone in the deep blue to sea to float.Labels: mad about you
♥ Talking About Life. ♥
Wednesday, June 23, 2010 ( 11:24:00 PM )
I thought this Sat is suppose to be the day we hang out together. For the days that I waited for ur Saturday off that only comes once per month.. now ur telling me that Sat you got soccer at 10pm. What the hell.. where's the priority of meeting me here. I set out my saturday unplanned with other stuffs cos of you.. And when i told you that I am dissapointed we cant go out till late night.. you did say nothing. In anyways.. we're meeting Friday then. Whatever la k. Just treat me like whatever you want.. I mean if its a day you go out with me.. dun make any other plans lah.. Haish. Have you not make me feel this way enuff already.Just make it stop.
Ok.. change topic time. I went to Woodlands and collect the brushes. I dunno why im so into make up. Hehe..
Labels: mad about you
♥ Decide. To Meet Me Or Not? ♥
Saturday, June 5, 2010 ( 11:40:00 PM )
Its time to meet up with fafa! We went to Bugis.. ate at Tong Seng. I had my steam chicken rice while fafa has her fried fish soup with mee hoon and milk. Yummeh. enjoyed our lunch and went to BHG. She got her bday pretzie for Fariha.. and fafa accompanied me to Bugis Street. I bought one top. Hehehe. Then we chilled at Coffee Bean @ Raffles Hospital. She had her cofee, while I had my hot chocolate with marshmallow. We also had the ceasar salad. Yummeh,again! We then talked and talked and talked.. till it was 7pm. She had to go off for her night shift. Also.. today.. the thing is,.. mr a is confused about meeting me today. And i sumhow got pissed and almost frustrated with his behaviour.I mean like.. seriously?!?!?!?!?!?!!!
@ 2.19pm ~ Mr a then gimme a missed call. ..Mr a called me to say.. "I thought I want go out with you today". But I told him I had plans with fafa alrd. So yeah, he decided that its ok not to meet me today..
S: u gi mane nyari? u tk ckp nk klua ngan I. so I make plans lor,, den now u with ur frens?
A: Ya.. tkpelah b. U at bugis eh?
S: yeah.. fafa nees but pretzie also. I want go bugis st. u kat ne?
A: i at bukit merah dear..
5.03pm
A: I thought wan lepak with you at Arab st
S: Ooh ok. haha. I'm free at 7pm though. I dunno if u want la.. cos fafa got nite shift. but if you think by doing this.. making u a second option thingy is a big deal.. den i wont see you today.unless if ur free nw n want join us at cofee bean bugis.. den we are here at raffles hospital chilling. ur most welcome to join dear (:
A:ooh what time u wil be at coffee bean?
S: Till 7 plus? u want me to wait here for you? or if u want, I can mt u at Arab St.. (:
A: Oooh. but if u stay at coffee bean
A: takpelah bie
S: den i wait for u at cofee bean?actually I dun get it. u nk meet i ke tknk sey.. skejap ckp nk jumpe.. skejap ckp tknk,i mcm dah confuse.i cn wait at cofee bean if you want.but i dunno wat u want nw. it's a matter of u want to meet me or not?if u dun want.. i cn just head home u know.bie, wats ur plan actually
A:ok i meet u. hmmm i park motor at arab st je lah
S: ur frens will be there also?
A:No. i meeting my colleagues at other place
S: so i will still see you? once u reach Arab st u tell me k. :D u meeting ur colleagues what time?
A: hmmm. I think i just mt u tmr la. Shan't disturb u w ur frens :)
S: haish i dunno wat to say alrd. takpela. hv fun ya
A: Bsok I meet u ok?
S: hmmm. tmr den we talk abt it la. im going hm soon anyway
8:48pm
S: u kat mane? I'm sorry if i sound a bot frustrated just now. but i dunno y suddenly its hard for you to make up ur mind whether we should meet today or not.also, u can easily decide to mit me tmr..without even knowing if im free.if im not free tmr, would u still meet up w me today after deciding that we shudn't meet? honestly bie
A: i make plans w my frens alrd. thot want mt u for a while but very difficult. nvm, if u cant meet me tmr, some other day. Wer u?
S: I went out alone after meet fafa. roam ard bishan. nw tired, otw home. i know u miss me that u want meet me tmr rite.. i'm free actually. so can i meet u tmr? (: heheh
A: ok i shall c u tmr
S: u sleeping late? tmr u wake up lunch time?
A: ya but im going my colleagues wedding ferst..
S: u mcm busy je.. hmm.. den wat time will you be done?
A: say 3? Hehe
S: alrytLabels: mad about you
♥ What Telah Happen. ♥
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 ( 9:29:00 PM )
I know i prolly overreact some times.. but I guess this is just ups and downs of life. Me and him are ok.. we're right back on track. So what happened between us? Hmmm. Just some quarrel or misunderstanding perhaps.
Last Sunday, whole day he was waiting for my reply.. but I didn't reply him. Cos his last msg was @ 2pm.. "Ok Best!" So what's there to reply to this kind of sms? seriously...! Den at 5 plus he looked for me.. asking what am I doing. He thought I was sleeping but I told him I was outside with mum. And.. he seems pissed lah sey. Truth is he wanted to meet me. He said - "Cos I'm angry wat.. Thot want mt u". Takkan I klua ngan my mum pon u nak angry.. That's so childish ok. I called him lah to pujuk (cheer him up) but all the way he talk to me.. hmmmmmmmmm.. mmmmm.. hmmm. Whatever questions I asked, thats all he replied. How can a conversation goes on with just hmmmmm's n mmmmm's? Wth. Intially, he said he missed me so much today.. and I told him I miss him too. But when I ask him when will I ever meet him again, he said dunno. So it's my problem now that we never meet ah?
Then when he's angry with me.. I'm like cannot be bothered by him ah. I dunno how to cheer him up alrd. Difficult lah to cheer up guys who is so sensitive like flower.. As we malay say it, perangai cam bunga ah. Haiyo. So I decided to let him cool off himself. But at last, he said i give up easily..
S: why u always like to say that i never try hard enough..why do i always give up easily.. why u said stuff like that.. why?
A: I mean its true right. When I just say hmmm, u straight away put down the phone n gv up nv pujuk
S: so ur ex try hard enuff and I dun? R u like comparing what she does and what I do? Even if I do even try to pujuk.. it's not that u'll be appreciative enuff to see that at least I tried.. u even said that I give up. But I'm still learning how to pujuk u sey.I tried ok.. but if u continue to say like this, it's very demoralizing.. I duno what to say. it's just the same as ur not accepting me as I am.. and expect to me to be better than what I alrd am
A: Have I ever mention abt my ex? And it's true right u gv up. what's wrong with me saying that? I am accepting u. If not.. why am I dating u?
S: There is wrong with u saying that. I mean instead of saying "u give up easily".. u can say more motivational words like dun give up.. or try harder.. or sumthing like that. NO, u didnt mention about ur ex.. so thats y i ask you, she pujuk u better than I do?
A: Ok.. I shall use motivational words next time
S: like what.. for example?
A: I dunno.. I'm trying too. Pls tell me
S: see what happens now.. my point is.. wen u say I gave up, u nv tell me wat to do.. now wen I told u should say motivational words,i nv tell u what to do.. so, the prob here lies with us. we nv guide each other.. but we are expecting it to happen. correct?
A: Actually u just have to keep on trying. Even if u nvr tell nw eactly what are the words, I just keep trying
S: ooookay.. so we keep trying.. but how to try wen there's no guidance? hmmm. I knw alrd. if I try.. n u try.. there's no need for guidance? cos by the time we both are trying.. i'll not give up with ur motivation.. by den, mission accomplished!yay!kn kn kn?
A: I just want to pinch you right now.. Geram aje. K lah dear, I slp 1st Muah.
It's not like we never meet this week you know. We did. 14.05.10 (Last Friday) You know.. we contact each other via sms, talking on the phone, msn.. and also yakyak (iphone app).. expanding our ways to talk to each other. But i feel that msn always doesnt work. I left the conversation halfway when I was talking to him. His rpelies at msn took very long. Haish.. I need a hug rite now.Labels: mad about you
♥ A Promise That You Can'r Keep. ♥
Friday, April 30, 2010 ( 10:39:00 PM )
no, dun talk bout ipman 2 with me lah. you promised that you wanted us to watch together. but now, seems like you're saying other different things already. I'm already so enthusisatic and excited to watch this ipman2.. even though i dunno what the hell the show is about.. n even though i didnt watch the part 1, i still wna watch it though cos its a good show. Almost everybody is booking the tickets online.. and I wanted to book the tickets too; just in case its full house.. But when I called you to find out more, to ask you what time we gonna watch and which place we gonna go. you have to tell me that you're gonna watch with your friends. omg.
Basket.
Like seriously? if ur really serious wan watch with me.. den u can ask me along together with ur frens rite. Since ur frens (firman and hykel) are watching it together.. den u let them watch together lah. whatever it is, you can still ask me,.. if i mind you watch with ur frens or not.. it's not just making ur own decision and when its planned, you tell me all about it. Cos if not you, who else i'm gonna watch it with. In the first place, don't ask me to watch with you lah if a simple promise like this you can't keep. haiz. ooook fine, go watch with your frens.
But when ur fren ask u to watch ip man2, den why cant you have me in ur mind.. and tell them that we already make plans together. ooh, i forgot.. now ur frens gets the priority isn't it. I'm not your scape goat. And I do have feelings too. Im not gonna book this movie thingy online or whatever shit this is. my mood is simply spoilt. I'm gonna off my phone. And I dunwan to talk to you.
In anyways.. work today seem pretty find. Only it's my first time going to the HR dept, to ask them expedite the case urgently. And worst, I went to the wrong person to ask.. Why didn't I even think of checking things up in the first place? I dunno. maybe I'm just too new to this job. I have to learn along the way. It's not like reading from a textbook and you can just memorize and guide you. There's not even senior officers to guide you. You have to be independent.. All by yourself. But then again, at least with the colleagues who are in the same shoes as you.. they are willing walk you through.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. It's late bf mum birthday today. Happy Birthday once again. I hope I get to see them this Sun, no last min changes please. :DLabels: mad about you
♥ The Longest Fight Ever. ♥
Monday, April 26, 2010 ( 10:36:00 PM )
YESTERDAY, WE ARGUED FOR 2 HOURS! 10PM - 12AM..
I dun know whats wrong with him. I had a big fight.. and I know I am taking the risk.. And I'm gonna face the consequences. Moreover, just as I thought, I'm having my menses now. Something that I should have warned him. Cos my personality and his collides when I'm having menses especially. I tend to be straight forward.. and we will be argumentative. Now, we are arguing about 2nd option. And we both have different perception. He dun like to be my 2nd option. And I know that... I am clearly aware of that too. But then again, I wanted to go out with him so badly today... that I just have to ask him out.
The story is like this, me and lynn went out to bugis. I met her at 4pm.. But she suddenly has to go off by 5pm. And this mr a wants to meet me. But he never really ask me out. He only say.. I'm free today. So when I told him I'm out with Lynn... he said "Ooh so we not meeting today" Lynn asked me out first. so I went out with Lynn. But even though, I asked him along.. so that we could sepnd time more together. However, he declined. Wow... Greatness!
Then after Lynn has to go off. I don't want to be stranded alone.. the feeling kindda suck. If you know what I mean. So that's why I need to go out somewhere.. with anybody.. any place.. anyone! My Saturday is alrd burnt at home. and I dun wan likewise for my Sun. Thats y i asked mr. a out again.. saying that Lynn has to go off at 5pm. I was asking him if he wants to go out with me. I called and sms him but he's asleep. By the time he called me back, I dunno what to say to mr. a actually.. so I missed his call. I'm dissapointed in him. Its 6pm and I'm already with Farhanah. Thanks Farhanah for today! We decided to go cycling at ECP. But he didnt reply my smses.. until 10pm at night. We then quarrelled.
A: Hello u still outside ?
S: hello. u saw me outside? watcha doing?
A: No u said u going out w Lynn
S: I met her at 4pm. She had to leave by 5pm.. den after that, I'm like stranded. I tried contacting u. bt u tk layan. we meet tmr?
A: Stranded? I was sleeping. I wake up call u back u nvr pick up.. Hmm stranded where?
S: at ecp.. emo2.. haish.. u lah tido mati. I give u wake up call u tk dgr hp bunyi. isyhh.. hanya tuhan saja tahu ape yang I rase
A: hmm I ask u out but u wan w ur fren. Kene paitao carik I. I call u pon u tk angkat. Tdo at ecp ke?
S: my fren ask me out ferst. U lambat sangat, I waited u to ask me out to eversince mon sey, but ur too busy. u ask me out just by saying "i'm free today" u nv ask me out properly like.. "u want to go out today" if u dun like i cari u to go out, den ok... i can go out all by myself
A: hmmm yelah. i already say im free to go out today, bt u gt plans w my frens, then kene paitao aru ask me out properly.. im not ur 2nd option k. despite that i still call u maybe we cn meet. but u nvr pick up or return my call and it's my fault?
Wahhh. I think that is like his longest msg that he typed so far. Seriously.. i did ask u out just now in the afternoon. I asked u out properly.. if you want to join me to go out with Lynn, Don't just anyhow say.. without even doing any research. I know what I'm doing.. and I know what I'm talking about. I did ask you out.. and yet I asked you out again and again.
S: i know u dun like to me my 2nd option. but even though my good times and bad time.. i still do look for u. prolly, looking for u is like a habit for me already. but if u dun like, ok. I'm not gonna do it again..ur no longer gonna be my 2nd option bie. i know u return my call.. but u nv try hard enuff. if u truly want to meet me today.. u'll call again to ask me out. skrg dah mlm aru u nk kisah i gi mane? its too late
A:no matter what i say it's gonna be my fault right. Hais forget it. Good night then.
S: Fine go ahead and sleep. u dun even care abt this conversation do you? well, this conversatione ends here.. nite.
WAHLAU. dun say good night in the middle of an unfinished conversation. i hate it when you say good night like this.. it shows like you dont care. And i am angry.. really damn angry now.. It is really impt for him to be my 2nd option. cos if i go out alone.. Den I kene musibah ke.. like tenggelam ke, minor accident ke, rogol ke, rompak ke, pengsan di tengah jln ke.. *touchwood to all these* and he's not gonna be there. So if sumthing happen to me outside, and all because of ur egoistic 2nd option and u dunwan go out with me.. Let's say when something happen to me.. will you ever regret it? Don't you partly feel responsible that this happened because you dun wan to go out with me?It happened because you can't take care of me. You don't want to take care of me.
A: what else can i say. everything i say is gonna be my fault right. and i do care. but pple say its too late. and thanks for putiing ur frens before me and make me ur 2nd option. i'll do the same too
S: hellloooooo. you put ur frens ferst before me ok.going out w them on wed n thurs.. bt nt a single day w me?u met ur frens this wk.. and I didn't go out w anybody.. until today I go out w lynn. I made u c ur mistakes. n u made me c mine.so its not totally ur fault. i'm at fault too.stop saying i blamed you.. cos i know i played a part too.haiyo.. i dun totally blame you
A: Ok next time I wan mt my frens then they paitao me the n i go out w u. Anw they ask me out wed and thurs.. u didnt. so ya
S: Check ur msgs baby. i asked u out on mon to check ur schedule so that we cn go out n meet. but i guess meeting me is not impt to u. u nv get back to me.things happen unpredictably.i dun ask for unpredictable things to happen.. and if ur frens paitao u.. and im free on that day, who cares abt me being 2nd option. cos I know that I could mt u and spend time. thats all that matters.. i dun care if im ur 2nd option..cos i knw i get to c u agn. bt u just dun feel this way.
S: baby its late, u sleep ferst k.imy
There you go.. one of my longest smses ever. Everytime I mentioned about his frens.. ade je die nk back up his frens. I mean I didnt really blame his frens or talking bad abt them.. but the way he's treating me, its the same as he is also putting his frens ferst before me. Like when he go with a double date with his frens.. why didnt he bring me.. Oooh I forgot. I'm not his girlfrend and one of his frens is not attached. So he must accompany his fren whom is single, thats y he nv ask me out even though I'm free on that day. When my family has plans with me but cancel on me.. I never blame my family for this. And during this time when me and mr. a is at home.. i nvr asked him out.. cos i know he dun like this 2nd option thingy. I can live with that. But if i'm stranded outside, and he is just too egoistic.. I try to make things work now. I try to let him know that 2nd option is ok. cos at the end of the day.. i will still look for him and he will sill look for me. In the end, at he end of the day, we need to be there for each other. Don't say I am not reasonable here.. cos i really am. You just have to think again about what we both said. I wont argue for fun, cos its a waste of time.
"I know your sleeping.. but I guess I say this anyway.. I know you'll be damn angry about asking u out when Lynn had to go off early. I know u dun like to be my 2nd option.. but i truly want to meet u today. that's y i ask u out.. even though i know i am gonna face the consequences like now. i want to let you know that 2nd option is not a bad thing you know.it's just how the way we see it.im sorry if im being too thick skinned or ignorant enuff to still ask u today. but if given a choice, i would still choose to go out w u still at the end of the day. (That's y I ask you out non-stop. But u dunwan meet me) Calm down k.. i know how u feel dear. "
I can feel your frustrations.. But I just have to knock some sense into you. Please, understand how I feel too. Labels: mad about you
♥ Selamat Tinggal Sayang. ♥
Thursday, April 8, 2010 ( 10:54:00 PM )
"At least lepas u ckp selamat tinggal I maseh cari u. tapi u nyer ego,u tk reply I.
Walaupn I ego, I tetap cari u sey selalu. U kalau tknk msg I,ckp je la.Tk yah nk salahkn apit plak.
U knw I was kidding rite.. Kalau u maseh fikir cinta I bukannyer utk u..dahlah..I tk tau ape lagik nk ckp. U nyer ego bie, ya ampun.ego I pon kalah tau tk..eeee! geram"
After work today, I went to John Little sale at expo. I did try to msg mr a if he wants to meet up. But he didnt reply. So I just walk around Expo and Tampines alone. When I was on the way home, he msg me with a question" Baby, wat u doin? Senyap aje".. I'm not the quiet one, you are.
Since both of us have iphone, i think its time for us to chat without even sending smses. So he introduced the yak yak messenger (An application just like msn, for iphones). Hoepfully it can save our bills though. But I think its a bit inconvenient to use.I bought pretzie for Late Bf Mum! And lingerie for myself.. Hehe. It's time to revamp my cupboard :D
At least.. everything's normal for now.I looked for him, even after he said goodbye (Selamat Tinggal) to me. I wanted to make sure that he really meant what he said. But actual fact, those are just words that he said when he's.. jealous? At last he apologized an we're okay for now. He said.. I'm sori. Love you.Labels: mad about you
♥ He Already Has A Facebook. ♥
Monday, April 5, 2010 ( 10:47:00 PM )
Let me tell you a secret that I've just discovered - Psssssst! Mr a has a facebook! Whhhhaaaaaat?! and since when he has it.. Dec 14th. I'm just as shock as you are. Few days ago, I had this dream. That he has a facebook. and yes la.. my dream came true. In that dream, I've found him through one of my friend's contact list. In reality,I did exactly what I did in the dream. And I felt more cheated than shock.
Having to know that in messenger profile there's this girl..
And now at his fb also there's this girl.
See the girl name Ann Aini? What do u think I would feel.. That I'm just as less as important to you? Right.
All the while, less than 4 mths is what you've got to tell me.. but you didn't. If you've got nothing to hide, why not say it then.. If you're truly open and honest with me, why not tell me. Why let someone whom you don't know be your circle of friends in facebook? Why, why, why?
Do you really have to keep it away from me.
I have a million questions to ask you.. but I know it will remain unanswered. I have a million places to go with you, but I know I'll never get there. I have an entire lifetime to spend my days with you, but I just know.. that you'll not do the same.
I hate it when I love you, too much. Labels: mad about you
♥ When We're At @ MSN. ♥
Thursday, March 25, 2010 ( 11:17:00 PM )
|X| This Is Me says: Hello b
Love.Sara says: weiks! u gt iphone? u say ur in meeting..bt i c u here
|X| This Is Me says: Heheheh boring la meeting
Love.Sara says: u gt new phone issit?
|X| This Is Me says: Ish tkdelah Hehhehehe
Love.Sara says: dun lie.. ur ebuddy show u either using iphone or itouch
takkan u use ur frens? hmmmmmmm.
open n honest! hahahahha
|X| This Is Me says: Ok iphone. Shit tkleh tipu u
Love.Sara says: Y NEVER TELL ME. isyhhhhhhhh
|X| This Is Me says: Why b?
Love.Sara says: hahahahah
|X| This Is Me says: What hhaha?
Love.Sara says: cos i nv tell u i get iphone, u nv tell me ehs?
|X| This Is Me says: Hahaha surprise!!
Love.Sara says: ok lor, so now u gt no more reasons to say that i nv msg u..
padahal i msg k..iphone wont go wrong baby
|X| This Is Me says: But i dun really cnfortable using it
Love.Sara says: u'll get use to it (:
He got and iphone already but didnt tell me! Hmph. And guess what. I'm suppose to meet him today. But he cancel it on me. He's not feeling well and still stuck in a meeting when I 've finished work. Omg.Labels: mad about you
♥ Unlucky, On The 13th. ♥
Saturday, March 13, 2010 ( 10:56:00 PM )
I don't know if I'm not being myself lately. and I don't know wat's up with me. It's like.. the more I'm talking to you, the more I will find fault with you. I am not the perfect person in this world. And every single thing that I do, I know that I can't please you.. as well as I can't please everybody else. Because, I do make mistakes. But I can learn from it. Right?
What happened today, made me cry like shit. I felt like I'm not that important in your life. And you're just being indecisive. Well, my patience has its limit dude. If I can accept for who you are, then please stop talking about me having a big ego. Please.
I know whatever I type here.. you may not be able to read. But at least, it would help me feel much better. If I can never again pour my feelings to you, I'm doing it here. Blogger's my next best friend.
You don't seem to get it. Do you..
1) Even if I know you have an ego, I try to put up with it.
2) Even if I know you don't msg me, I try to put up with it.
3) Even though I have to look for you almost every time, I try to put up with it.
4) Even though I know I asked you out always, I try to put up with it
5) Even though I know I'm in the wrong, I said sorry.
...And this list can go on till forever.
The main point is.. for everything else, I think I did try to put up with you. But for once.. Cant you just try to put it up with me? What's so hard about this.
3.44pm
Sara: You get ur things ferst?I c u a bit later
5.06pm
Amri: Im on duty till 8
5.35pm
Sara: Wah!!I'm on the way to town.oklah.. so I c u at 8 ehs? we still meeting?
Amri: No im at suntec with asrap alrd.Bt ltr go back punch card
Sara: do i still c u a not?
Amri: Up to you
Sara: No need meet lah. I just go out alone.Have fun
Amri: Ok lor..
5.45pm
Sara: okay?I'm already on my way out to see you.. but I get to know u with asrap.n worst..u hv duty till 8. den I ask if u want to c me..but u say up to me.if u dun want to go out with me today,just say.tk payah lah susah payah mengharapkan utk jumpe u nyari.isyh.
Amri: U yang ckp get my stuff 1st. And asrap want get things oso. I am on duty wat u want me to do? Duno y ur mad at me.
Sara: I dun think u understand..urgh!nvm.enjoy ur weekend
Amri: And I dun think u undastd either.U hv a gd weekend too.
Sara: abeh skrg nie I dah klua I nk jumpe sape?I nk jumpe u kan.. tapi. Dahlah forget it.
Amri: Then u yg ckp skrg tnk jumpe. Not me wat.
Sara: But u still cn say u nk jumpe i wat
Amri: Abeh u tknk i tknk pakse la.
6:01pm
Sara: Abeh u lebih rela I klua sorang lah nie?happy?best?seronok I klua sorang?I tanye u nk jumpe I ke tk..u ckp up to me..u tk ckp u nk i jumpe I. So I tknk jumpe lah.
Amri: U dah lambat,pastu suroh I get my thgs 1st,skrg u nk mengamok?
Sara: okay..my fault lah. happy?I dah lambat..abeh u tknk jumpe i.That's wat happening now rite..u tk tanye wat time I meeting u ke..nape I lambat ke..n nw it's my fault I mengamuk?hv things ur way den.do watever ur happy.oooh,sorry i mengamuk. I didnt mean to
Amri: U yg tknk jumpe. I cume ckp ok. So dun put words to my mouth
6.25pm
Sara: Ok mr ego
Amri: Ok ms ego..
6.52pm
Sara: I'm not ms ego lah. I'm just little miss upset.I dah kt luar sorang2 tk tau mane nk pegi.ingatkn nk jumpe u ..tapi u r fine abt kite tk jumpe..n I'm all out alone.haiz.tkpelah..I can take care of myself nw.happy finding ur speaker
Amri: Ego lagi lah ckp tknk jumpe.Nt my fault mah. Duno y u ngamok at me
Sara: menses kot?haha.I'm having bad day also.stress.that's y prolly I ngamok.sorry lah..ngamok2 pon I nangis sey. Sedih tk dpt jumpe u. u ego lagik la tknk pujuk i. At least u cn still say u want meet me eventhough I dun want meet u.sape lah i nie kan
7:18pm
Amri: Yelah lepas geram kat i pe.Hais.. Sape la i
Sara: ok..salah i.i tau..so we really nt meeting rite
Amri: I say up to u. if u dunwan, i gt nuthing to say
7.30pm
Sara: den if i want, u gt sumthing to say?
Amri: Nope
sara: okay..I'm on my way to town nw and I dunno if I'm meeting u. Allow me to tell u wats my plan for tonite.If I'm meeting u.. I'm gonna say sorry cos I know I dah ngamok. And if I'm not meeting you,den I'm gonna watch alice in wonderland alone.help me decide cn?which one u want?
Amri: Up to u
7.45pm
Sara: tat's nt a question. it's nt an answer either. I want to meet u..cos I miss you sangat2.dah kasi hint pon u tk faham..ya ampun. dahlah save ur bills. this sms is going nowhere.
Amri: I nk confirm you ckp.Ok mt u wer?
Sara: I'll be at orchard
8:13pm
Amri: Jumpe I pat orchard mrt in 15 mins time
8:30pm
Sara: ok reached
10:56pm
Sara: Reached hm? goooood nite sweet dreams.
Msged him but there's no reply. Haiyo. I met him for less than 2 hrs. And when I reached Orchard.. he wants to eat at Yishun. Might as well I meet him at amk rite? And the traing journey sucks. It makes me feel as if we are total strangers. We are standing in the same train, at same cabin, on the same time.. But he choose to listen to his mp3 player. Tknk layan I nampak.. Thanks lynn for picking up my call.
When I met him, I GOT NO MOOD TO EAT. Just have a drink.. And watch him eat the hor fun. He did feed me some,.. eventhough I dunwan it. Ask me buy my own meals.. but I dunwan. Thoughts of him buying a meal for me, runs in my head that time.. It's not that I cant afford a meal myself. It's just that.. it's his thoughts that counts. I do admit, I was really hungry at that time. But with things like this.. I rather starve.
CONCLUSION: Bottom line is, if a guy really loves a woman.. he would not let her go out alone. Because he do care for the gerl. But this guy.. he's letting me going out alone tonight. Which means, he don't care. Must I remind myself that I'm not his gf. And can I stop treating him as if he's mine?! Urgh. It's either I'm frustrated with myself.. with the world.. or with him.
And as you can see, we meet up for less than just 2 hrs.And its not just me who's having a bad day today.. my gfs in facebook facing crisis as me.Labels: mad about you
♥ What It Feels Like.. ♥
Sunday, March 7, 2010 ( 12:28:00 AM )
What it feels like to be me?
You have no idea what it feels like, to be me.. when every moment I just crave for your presence. When I badly wanted to read ur msgs, hear the sound of your voice or perhaps, it would be like a dream came true if we're meeting again. I'm admitting this boy, I am falling for you. But look at our situation now. Sometimes, you make me wonder and ponder. That there's some things about you I like.. And some things that I dun like.
I like the way.. When I'm with you.
The way that you make me smile.. the way that you could light up my you life.
It seems that you could mean so much more to me already.. more than anything that I could ever imagine. Unfortunately, you have a habit of not replying my msgs.. and I CANT read your mind, and I CANT understand your silence. I've tried being patient for as long as I can.. But the more I patience I get, the more harder my craving is. How could I resist you, when we are so far apart? I need to msg you.. I need you to msg me. However, my msgs continue to remain unreplied, when I tried to sms. Am I the one who's the only one missing you here? Am I the only one who is having a handphone here? What happened to your phone that you can't even reply? And every single time when I asked you why you didnt bother to text me, what did you say? You said you did text me but I didnt reply.
For once, if you told me this.. I would have believed. But if every time, where's the proof?
As I learnt to love, I learnt to hate your ways. And as the more I learnt to hate.. I began to love to hate. All in all, I hate to love you.. and I love to hate you.
Grrrr. I am going nowhere with these hate and love thingy. Haishh. I know, I know. What should I do now? I cant stop thinking of him every single time.. Because, I am just a friend. I am not your perfect match, right?Labels: mad about you
♥ I'm Reasoning Things Out 'Bout You. ♥
Thursday, February 18, 2010 ( 10:11:00 PM )
Lynn taught me a lesson today.
L: If he really wants to keep u for his future wife,den definitely he wants u be his gf. y isit so hard to make u his gf if he really knws he love u?
S:Maybe cos he dun want r'ship probs.. or he's taking things slow
L: But then, no relationship you guys still got prob . So wads the diff? U guys treat each other as gf bf
Come to think of it.. I'm still living in a denial. Even though I'm starting slow in giving up on mr a.
I've come to a conclusion that its pointless of us being frens. Wats the point of sticking to him.. but he cant be there when I needed him. More and more we are behaving like strangers. More and more I'm just clueless bout him. I feel he dun understands me.. and likewise. I don't like this feeling.
Furthermore, it's more difficult for us to communicate.
Wat's the point of having our contact number (hp/home) plus msn or email, when we dun contact each other via these means of communication. And wat's the point if we do go out.. but at the end of the day, we argued y dun we take initiatives to ask each other out. 'It has always been me'.. 'It has always been ME'.. 'IT HAD ALWAYS BEEN ME'.. we have this common mentality and attitude. That is a problem.
All these things happen for a reason right? And I dunno how long it gonna last. Maybe temporary. Maybe forever, Maybe.
And even if we do talk to each other.. I feel that the more we talk, the more we are making no sense. What is happening to the both of us? AND what is going on with the things around us. I felt like I know you, but I don't know you. Sometimes, things are just better left unexplained.
Talking about that.. mr.a has now updated me with the latest info of his ex. She has broken up with her newly found bf. And she will be chasing after him, again? She has already come back for him all the while.. and I guess she has no interest in any guys other than him. why not she come back for him now, since she has no other guys left? We'll just see.
**For all I care, screw this shit.
After work, I went shopping alone. Bought a dress for $15.. originally, 99 bucks. Haha. Worth it sey. Fyi, I don't need mr.a to survive. I don't need men to survive. All I need is just a fren. Who's there for me when I need them.. regardless of gender, race, or religion. Haha. World peace k?
Oooh gosh. I'm so mad with mr.a till he drives me insane. Labels: mad about you
