♥ ♥
Wednesday, May 28, 2008 ( 10:25:00 PM )
Today i kept on eating! actually frm yesterday lah. hahaha. i kept on spending and spending. nanti gemuk aru tau ehk. lols! but the things i eat a bit merepekz. gula2. chocolate. susu. its all like titbits. haiyo. hahaha. nanti gigi rongak camne? (:
This week is the first week of FYP. fuhyo.. fyp lah. hehe. so long nv been in school. i thought i miss school.. but then when in school,.. keep on eating and eating je. pssst! best way to gemuk! seriously.. hehe
i'm trying to change the way i dress. but i dunnoe sumhow its for the better or worse.haha.i'd like to start to add colors to my dressing. maybe nowadays.. before i go sch,.. i should take a picture of myself. den only i will realize how i look kan kan kan. hehe. ade2 jek kan kite nie.
sayang.. i feel as if i did dream of you this morning. tapi cume sekejap. i only c u for like less den 10 seconds or so? i'm thankful that i can at least know that u are baik2 aje in the dream. its like i can see that you are lying down, resting.. without anybody disturbing. but den again.. u should know that i still miss you and love you, so much darling. and today,.. is the day that farhanah's fren want to kenal2 with me.
i dunnoe if its weird. but u seem to appear when guys will come to my life. issit because you relakan? or issit because u tryng to tell me something. its hard when we are living in different world. but no matter what,.. this feeling.. my memories.. it won't fade away.
Sayang.. evrytime when i dream of you.. i will definitely feel your presence. your aura.. i dunnoe how to say. but its like when you're around i feel secured.. and i forget about evrything. u once said,.. that if u lose me.. u bleh jadi gile.. bleh jadi cam org merepat kat tepi jalan. but it took some time for me to realize betape bermaknenye i dalam hidup u.
tapi i nk u tau gak yang u pon bermakna dalam hidup i. begitu bermakna..sugguh bermakne.
today's 28th may 2008. u know, i know dear.
♥ saturdayy ♥
Saturday, May 17, 2008 ( 11:15:00 PM )
helo hello hello
i kept eating tonight. i dunno y lah. maybe because im bored. yarr.. im bored. *admit*
life is so.. quiet. lonely.. where i feel that im all by myself. just now i skipped drama cos i went to ziarah kubur with nenek,.. om mamat,.. haziq and aunty sum. the ziarah timing is at 11 am. so there's nuthing much i can do. the timing clash.
well.. i really miss you so much. at times when i want to just cry today, i hold back. i went to visit ravi's frenster today. his pics is so full of arwah.. and i want to cry.. but i hold back gak lah. i know he's gone.. and all i could do is nuthing. if its meant to be, its meant to be kan.. you know sometimes i just think that if every wkend i visit kubur.. i will treat it like as if im going dating with you.. but the difference is that i only date with you for like a while.. less than 1 hr. if last time.. we could hang out in afternoon all the way till night. .talk2 to each other on the phone. sms each other.. and even take care of each other. dah makan blum? asal blum makan? makan ape tu? but now.. i know i cannot lawan fate. i will still try to live life the way it is. be it on my own or not.
at least what i can do is just to remember him. the times when me and him together.. go out.. eat2.. laugh2.. walk2.. talk2.. joke2.. it had all stopped. but the memories won't. insya-allah it will forever remain k.
♥ ♥
Wednesday, May 14, 2008 ( 11:45:00 PM )
few minutes to midnite. well, updates.. eversince mon i have fever sey. tahlah all because of what. mon my body temperature was 38.1. yesterday was 37.5. today still hot a bit.. haven use the thermometer yet though. maybe im just love sick! demam kerane cinta! haha! ya rite.. like that will only happen. oh well..
"ku telah mencintai mu sepenuh hati ku.
ku merindui mu saat dikau tiada di sisi ku.
ku perlukan mu untuk mendampingi hidup ku..
kekasihku,.. hanya nama mu terukir di hatiku..
di kala ku sepi dan rindu, ku memanggil-manggil nama mu..
wahai kekasihku,.. dengarlah rintihan hatiku."
pheeweeet. its been a long time eversince i wrote sajak/poem in malay. Oh well. i really2 miss u. i hope that you feel the same way too ayang. cos with this heart of mine.. i still feel that you're presense. but its just that you are far away.. and that i cannot contact you like i had always been doing. its just that things are diff now. oh well..
just now after attchment i went out with fafa and kama. after sooooooo long, its time that the GFs get to gather and catch up some times just over a meal or so. (: And guess what! yesterday i went to shop all by myself. Bought shoes and shirts.. I like... yerp yerp yerp! I LOVE! hehe.
till then, Toodles!
♥ it's May ♥
Thursday, May 8, 2008 ( 12:20:00 AM )
its past midnight.. and its already 8th may 08. next 9th may... stage arts night. but in two weeks time, it'll be 23rd may -soon it will be 8 mths since the day of ur last birthday. and 3 days after that will exactly 8 mths since the day that you left.. but what can i do.. but it all still seems untrue. i still miss you. and i still love you.
just now, after the drama rehearsel for this stage arts nite,... i kept on saying to myself "He's DEAD! He's gone. Just accept it".. i know its just drama. but im like saying it to myself. im just like the other one who lost my love one. lah.. dunnoe lah.
i just miss you so much. need you so much. i've been wanting to feel your touch again, the warmth of your hug,.. the sound of your voice.. the sight of ur smile. when will i ever see you again?
i'm so lost without you. but i have to be strong.. cos life has to go on. but until when? urgh!
I know its still hard, but im trying. cos it feels like yesterday, eversince i saw you..
Mend this broken heart of mine..
Its been hurt like im running out of time.
When will ever be the day again,
when i get to see you and hear you say my name.
Only you know that I truly love you..
and my heart is already with you.
