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"As i looked back at those memories, at those days.. i shed a tear.
As i looked at your lovely pictures.. i shed my tears.
As I cry,.. I'm missing you. And as I type,.. I'm loving you.
And as I love you,.. I need you. And as I'm thinking of you,..I want you."
With these words I say to you, I write my poems just for you.
If you were to heal me from a broken heartache, & if your love..
is meant to last for my entire lifetime, till then...
*imdreamingofyoualldayallnight
Date Of Birth: 28 December 1988
Hometown: Singapore
♥ The Longest Fight Ever. ♥
Monday, April 26, 2010 ( 10:36:00 PM )
YESTERDAY, WE ARGUED FOR 2 HOURS! 10PM - 12AM..
I dun know whats wrong with him. I had a big fight.. and I know I am taking the risk.. And I'm gonna face the consequences. Moreover, just as I thought, I'm having my menses now. Something that I should have warned him. Cos my personality and his collides when I'm having menses especially. I tend to be straight forward.. and we will be argumentative. Now, we are arguing about 2nd option. And we both have different perception. He dun like to be my 2nd option. And I know that... I am clearly aware of that too. But then again, I wanted to go out with him so badly today... that I just have to ask him out.
The story is like this, me and lynn went out to bugis. I met her at 4pm.. But she suddenly has to go off by 5pm. And this mr a wants to meet me. But he never really ask me out. He only say.. I'm free today. So when I told him I'm out with Lynn... he said "Ooh so we not meeting today" Lynn asked me out first. so I went out with Lynn. But even though, I asked him along.. so that we could sepnd time more together. However, he declined. Wow... Greatness!
Then after Lynn has to go off. I don't want to be stranded alone.. the feeling kindda suck. If you know what I mean. So that's why I need to go out somewhere.. with anybody.. any place.. anyone! My Saturday is alrd burnt at home. and I dun wan likewise for my Sun. Thats y i asked mr. a out again.. saying that Lynn has to go off at 5pm. I was asking him if he wants to go out with me. I called and sms him but he's asleep. By the time he called me back, I dunno what to say to mr. a actually.. so I missed his call. I'm dissapointed in him. Its 6pm and I'm already with Farhanah. Thanks Farhanah for today! We decided to go cycling at ECP. But he didnt reply my smses.. until 10pm at night. We then quarrelled.
A: Hello u still outside ?
S: hello. u saw me outside? watcha doing?
A: No u said u going out w Lynn
S: I met her at 4pm. She had to leave by 5pm.. den after that, I'm like stranded. I tried contacting u. bt u tk layan. we meet tmr?
A: Stranded? I was sleeping. I wake up call u back u nvr pick up.. Hmm stranded where?
S: at ecp.. emo2.. haish.. u lah tido mati. I give u wake up call u tk dgr hp bunyi. isyhh.. hanya tuhan saja tahu ape yang I rase
A: hmm I ask u out but u wan w ur fren. Kene paitao carik I. I call u pon u tk angkat. Tdo at ecp ke?
S: my fren ask me out ferst. U lambat sangat, I waited u to ask me out to eversince mon sey, but ur too busy. u ask me out just by saying "i'm free today" u nv ask me out properly like.. "u want to go out today" if u dun like i cari u to go out, den ok... i can go out all by myself
A: hmmm yelah. i already say im free to go out today, bt u gt plans w my frens, then kene paitao aru ask me out properly.. im not ur 2nd option k. despite that i still call u maybe we cn meet. but u nvr pick up or return my call and it's my fault?
Wahhh. I think that is like his longest msg that he typed so far. Seriously.. i did ask u out just now in the afternoon. I asked u out properly.. if you want to join me to go out with Lynn, Don't just anyhow say.. without even doing any research. I know what I'm doing.. and I know what I'm talking about. I did ask you out.. and yet I asked you out again and again.
S: i know u dun like to me my 2nd option. but even though my good times and bad time.. i still do look for u. prolly, looking for u is like a habit for me already. but if u dun like, ok. I'm not gonna do it again..ur no longer gonna be my 2nd option bie. i know u return my call.. but u nv try hard enuff. if u truly want to meet me today.. u'll call again to ask me out. skrg dah mlm aru u nk kisah i gi mane? its too late
A:no matter what i say it's gonna be my fault right. Hais forget it. Good night then.
S: Fine go ahead and sleep. u dun even care abt this conversation do you? well, this conversatione ends here.. nite.
WAHLAU. dun say good night in the middle of an unfinished conversation. i hate it when you say good night like this.. it shows like you dont care. And i am angry.. really damn angry now.. It is really impt for him to be my 2nd option. cos if i go out alone.. Den I kene musibah ke.. like tenggelam ke, minor accident ke, rogol ke, rompak ke, pengsan di tengah jln ke.. *touchwood to all these* and he's not gonna be there. So if sumthing happen to me outside, and all because of ur egoistic 2nd option and u dunwan go out with me.. Let's say when something happen to me.. will you ever regret it? Don't you partly feel responsible that this happened because you dun wan to go out with me?It happened because you can't take care of me. You don't want to take care of me.
A: what else can i say. everything i say is gonna be my fault right. and i do care. but pple say its too late. and thanks for putiing ur frens before me and make me ur 2nd option. i'll do the same too
S: hellloooooo. you put ur frens ferst before me ok.going out w them on wed n thurs.. bt nt a single day w me?u met ur frens this wk.. and I didn't go out w anybody.. until today I go out w lynn. I made u c ur mistakes. n u made me c mine.so its not totally ur fault. i'm at fault too.stop saying i blamed you.. cos i know i played a part too.haiyo.. i dun totally blame you
A: Ok next time I wan mt my frens then they paitao me the n i go out w u. Anw they ask me out wed and thurs.. u didnt. so ya
S: Check ur msgs baby. i asked u out on mon to check ur schedule so that we cn go out n meet. but i guess meeting me is not impt to u. u nv get back to me.things happen unpredictably.i dun ask for unpredictable things to happen.. and if ur frens paitao u.. and im free on that day, who cares abt me being 2nd option. cos I know that I could mt u and spend time. thats all that matters.. i dun care if im ur 2nd option..cos i knw i get to c u agn. bt u just dun feel this way.
S: baby its late, u sleep ferst k.imy
There you go.. one of my longest smses ever. Everytime I mentioned about his frens.. ade je die nk back up his frens. I mean I didnt really blame his frens or talking bad abt them.. but the way he's treating me, its the same as he is also putting his frens ferst before me. Like when he go with a double date with his frens.. why didnt he bring me.. Oooh I forgot. I'm not his girlfrend and one of his frens is not attached. So he must accompany his fren whom is single, thats y he nv ask me out even though I'm free on that day. When my family has plans with me but cancel on me.. I never blame my family for this. And during this time when me and mr. a is at home.. i nvr asked him out.. cos i know he dun like this 2nd option thingy. I can live with that. But if i'm stranded outside, and he is just too egoistic.. I try to make things work now. I try to let him know that 2nd option is ok. cos at the end of the day.. i will still look for him and he will sill look for me. In the end, at he end of the day, we need to be there for each other. Don't say I am not reasonable here.. cos i really am. You just have to think again about what we both said. I wont argue for fun, cos its a waste of time.
"I know your sleeping.. but I guess I say this anyway.. I know you'll be damn angry about asking u out when Lynn had to go off early. I know u dun like to be my 2nd option.. but i truly want to meet u today. that's y i ask u out.. even though i know i am gonna face the consequences like now. i want to let you know that 2nd option is not a bad thing you know.it's just how the way we see it.im sorry if im being too thick skinned or ignorant enuff to still ask u today. but if given a choice, i would still choose to go out w u still at the end of the day. (That's y I ask you out non-stop. But u dunwan meet me) Calm down k.. i know how u feel dear. "
I can feel your frustrations.. But I just have to knock some sense into you. Please, understand how I feel too. Labels: mad about you
