♥ My Ego Ruins It All. ♥
Sunday, March 14, 2010 ( 11:57:00 PM )
Woke up at eleven. Ride the bus to amk mrt.. and saw fafa in the bus! Coincidence. ((: She's making her way to orchard.. Happy Birthday to Fafa's Bf. While I'm making my way to yishun. To meet aunty zee (Mum's elder sister).
At Yishun's OCBC bank. Accompany aunt to close her joint account. Then, follow to aunt's place to take her bank book.. cos she'd forgotten to bring. And then proceed to the bank again. Aunt applied for me the Supplementary Credit Card! Ooooh yeah, I'm big enuff to have a credit card. But I'm not sure if its a wise choice after all. Lunch time, had lunch and Manhattan Fish - Northpoint. It's super duper tasty ok. Yum Yum. Cream of mushroom soup with garlic bread, ceaser salad, manhattan seafood platter.. that consist of prawns, fish, rice, squids, chips. I kept on eating till I cant eat anymore. Very, very filling.
With our tummy full.. we proceed to IT show. We're getting ready to squeeze in the crowds of humans. Haha. Camera, Laptop, Cooling Fan, Mouse, Laptop skin.. Aunt bought all of those. And I got one for myself to.. free. Not all of them free silly. Only the cooling pad is for me FREE. And one for herself too.
For dinner, ate at Mac Donald's my treat. Haha. Had the train journey back to amk and went to NTUC. Bought lots of snacks for werk and then went back home. The thing is whole day,.. I'm not talking to mr a. He sumhow made my blood boil. And I think I had enuff of him. I dunno lah. It's like evrything I do now, doesn't seem quite just rite. I dunno if I'm the one creating problems now again. But I think he's the one creating the problem too. I dun think I understand him. And I dun think he understands me too.
My tears just keep on filling my eyes, falling down my cheeks. Just as when I felt, I'm so angry at him. But I do need him by my side.. the more I will cry. Oh god. Right now, I dun think he's the perfect guy right now. Why do I still wish, he has the same chararacteristics like late bf? Prolly, late bf is the guy of my dreams. Probably. And mr a? He can just keep on making me cry like noody's business. Oooh god. Give me the courage to let me go through all these things please.
This is what happened tonight.
Mr a MSN nick - IF IT'S WHAT YOU WANT.
Sara MSN nick - I'M TALKING TO EVERYONE, BUT YOU.
13/14/2010
11:42:15 PM amri : why arent u talking to me?
11:42:28 PM Love.Sara : cos ur not talking to me
11:42:37 PM Love.Sara : you wont talk to me unless my menses ends rite?
11:43:02 PM Love.Sara : and if thats what you want
11:43:19 PM amri : yeah and if thats what you want
11:43:30 PM Love.Sara : no, thats not wat i want
11:43:39 PM Love.Sara : thats wat u want
11:43:48 PM amri : hmm
11:43:55 PM Love.Sara : ur afraid that i would ngamok again
11:43:57 PM amri : i cant see u got big ego
11:44:05 PM Love.Sara : u cant see?
11:44:07 PM amri : susah
11:44:34 PM Love.Sara : apenyer yang susah
11:44:41 PM amri : nvm
11:44:56 PM Love.Sara : ape nyer yang nvm?
11:46:13 PM Love.Sara : ?
11:46:28 PM Love.Sara : dun end the sentence with nvm pls
11:46:44 PM amri : susah la if ppl got big ego
11:46:53 PM Love.Sara : u also got big ego
**Psttt - Hello! This part.. if I got such a big ego.. why can everyone else put up with my ego and not you? If you really like that somone, you will accept him or her for wat she is. Not complaining all about what big ego she has
11:47:01 PM Love.Sara : haiiiiyoooo
11:47:11 PM Love.Sara : den if susah, how to make it easier?
11:48:58 PM amri : dunno la
11:49:01 PM amri : hais
11:49:08 PM amri : okla i better sleep1st
11:49:17 PM amri : carry on talking to everyine else except me
11:49:18 PM amri : night
11:49:19 PM Love.Sara : nite den
11:49:26 PM Love.Sara : i want to talk to you!
11:49:31 PM Love.Sara : but u want to sleep
11:49:39 PM Love.Sara : see who's not talking to me nw
11:49:53 PM Love.Sara : not even 5 minutes of chatting
11:50:04 PM Love.Sara : not even a single msg of communication
11:50:20 PM Love.Sara : nvm
11:50:21 PM Love.Sara : go to bed
11:50:30 PM Love.Sara : ur sleep is more important rite?
11:51:45 PM amri : ooooooooooh
11:51:48 PM amri: b nye ngomel
11:51:52 PM amri: ya ampun
11:52:27 PM amri : gosh ur mences thingy is geeting into u and now im suffering from it
11:52:32 PM Love.Sara : no
11:52:34 PM amri : oh god help me pls
11:52:40 PM Love.Sara : my menses stop already
11:52:44 PM Love.Sara : nuthing to do with it
11:52:51 PM Love.Sara : i mean.. at least its stopping soon
11:53:07 PM Love.Sara : still a bit of menses left
11:53:22 PM Love.Sara : i dunno lah bie, sumtimes wen i just c that its u n ur ego
11:53:30 PM Love.Sara : bt u say me n my ego plak
11:53:32 PM Love.Sara : i dunno lah
11:53:33 PM Love.Sara : i dunno
11:53:37 PM Love.Sara : i dunnnnoooooo
11:53:57 PM amri : then how
11:54:05 PM amri : ?
11:54:12 PM Love.Sara : like i said.. i dunno
11:54:14 PM Love.Sara : ):
11:54:18 PM amri : hais, i dun wan go bed mad at you..
11:54:29 PM amri : peace?
11:54:31 PM Love.Sara : u mad at me?
11:55:21 PM Love.Sara : n tell me pls, why ur mad?
11:56:06 PM amri : cos of ur ego
11:56:27 PM Love.Sara : i really have a big ego?
11:56:28 PM amri : nvm we peace ok?
11:56:37 PM Love.Sara : if u want sleep, den go sleep lah
11:56:39 PM Love.Sara : good nite
11:56:43 PM amri : wah
11:56:47 PM amri : ok then
11:56:49 PM Love.Sara : haha
11:56:53 PM Love.Sara : peace baby
If you give up on me now.. you'll probably give up on me in the future. I'm not sure about us now.. I can't feel that you like me. And I can feel that I dun like you. If you really duwan me to have a big ego, change me. Help me not to have a big ego.
But..
I now pronounce.. I hate the guy with the name khairul amri bin salleh. He makes my blood boil. And I duno why. I dun think we are lovers.. We are turning to enemies instead. OMG! Listen up.. if you ten times cannot be bothered by me.. I also cannot be bothered by you ten times more ok. Just when will you tell me, that you do actually care? It's like you will not save me from drowning. You'll only make me drown to death as much.
Why do i even start to love a guy like you? Why am I falling for you? I need to fall out of love. I need to live without you. It just hurts as much now. It will only hurt much more later. I HATE YOU!
Tell me that you don't love me. Tell me that you hate me too. Tell me that you don't care. Tell me that you wont be there. Say all these things to me. So that I'll tell myself to leave. Don't even bother look for me.. Cos I wont bother to look for you. You've caused me so much tears. You've caused me so much pain. Bring me back to the life, before I even knew you. Oooooh, dear god. Help me please. I don't have the strength and courage. I need your help. Amin.Labels: words that you said
