This may be my last time, eversince I told you.. I love you.

i felt like crying. but i dunno the reason i'll cry.

Work is stressful.
I'd almost breakdown. customers are really asking for all the impossibilities. want discount here and there, so cheap skate. hello, you're already offered with a voucher and you want to ask for further discounts. go and fly kite can? we're already giving you $200 discount. and you're asking like for $400 discount! it's really giving me a hard time and pissing me off. i can't work in a noisy environment and i can't concentrate today. my mind is running elsewhere.

My bad influence.
I've been asking mr.a yesterday whether he'll go out with me today. My sunday is gonna be super busy. And I want to meet him. Since he's off day is today, and rarely gets off day on saturday.. y not just go out with me? it's hard for me to say.. or for me to describe. But what i felt is that when i asked you, it should be a simple reply yes or no. Again, i don't know what's on you're mind. You know i miss you. And you know you told me that you're missing me too. You know that i want to meet you, but i'm hearing nothing from you, unfortunately. No msgs, no hi, no bye. Our silence is purely golden.

What's done is done.
Tmr's supposed to be a pre-planned thing but its cancelled. And I wonder if I've already made a stupid mistake eversince. Prolly I am just dumb and stupid.. that's why my mistakes are stupid. I seriously don't want to break the friendship. He's very sincere, understanding, friendly and mature.. more than mr.a could ever be. But at the same time I couldn't keep this friendship. How could i go on when i'm already feeling guilty that my feelings are for mr.a. Yes, you can call me evil. That's why I put a stop to everything sometimes. Clearly you asked me out, I said no. Clearly when there's another outing, it seems we should go out in groups and not just the two of us. I don't know what I'm doing.

Imdreamingofyoualldayallnight.
I dreamt of late bf, again. Now he's there in my dream. Accompanying me wherever I go, and we hang out like all he couples do. But until the goodbye part, he's committing suicide by jumping off a river and drown himself. Somehow the moment I've realized it, I shouted "U.. U.. U!!" . I just want to make sure he'll don't drown. Oh Boy, I hope knows what he's doing. Only then after I realized he has survived from drowning in the river, I said.. "Why do you have to do all this when I've already waited for you so long" From there, I woke up when he kissed my forehead. Prolly he knows I'm not letting him go just yet.

After work, I met lynn. random.. we watch ndp with her fiance! thanks for inviting (: