What do i do now? I don't know what to do.. I just don't know.
& I really DON'T KNOW! I'm Clueless. I have no clue, all I wanna do is cry.
Or maybe some part of me is telling myself.. "Stupid Bitch, Don't Cry."
Hahaha. Silly me. I am thinking of him.. & I have given a lot of thoughts about him.
In conclusion,
He is a man.. who is afraid of falling in love.
A man who could just like a girl, but not love?Hah.
There's more of it..
Lately, when we hanging out (Dating, thats what you call it).. I've been feeling he's kinnda quiet. Like there's not so much to talk about. We do chat and laugh and crack jokes.. But comparing last time when we used to get to know each other, it's different now. Everytime when he's silent, I will ask.. what are you thinking?Nothing, he replied. * What is on your mind, honestly?
You used to be the one..
Msging early in the morning..
Dropping a msg or two to see if she's okay (when she's keeping quiet)
Want to know more about her.. asking her this and that.
Giving her surprise calls saying you called because you want to hear her voice.
Talking at msn like there's so much to talk about.
But now.. I don't know if you're trying too hard to control to your bills. & probably thats the reason why you're not msging or calling often anymore?Maybe there is nothing much to talk about already. I don't know..I feel like it has always been me msging you first. & it has always been you keeping quiet. Whats the point of even saying I miss you when you're not doing anything about it? Don't say it if you don't mean it.
I'll be just doing like what you're doing.
I'll keep quiet when you keep quiet.
Like yesterday..I msged him saying that lynn asked me out. Will be lunching murtabak.Den he said that he will be having dinner with family.He'll be a good boy and stay at home.So when i'm home.. he's home. i msn, he also msn.His msn nick: fell in love.. INDIE. While mine was, if only you know when you're away.. i miss you too. Our conversation started as per normal.. He asked me I went to marina barrage with who.. Den I say lah with lynn only. Must I do the report who I go out with already? and I also asked - why.. you think there's someone else? Den he said how I know sey.
So I assure him no one else but us lah. I changed my msn nick by then - Blinded.His reaction was.. Blinded by?I said, nothing. He said Tell me. I repeat.. Really, nothing. He repeat.. Tell me. So I told him this - my eyes pain ever since the marina barrage. Thats y I'm blinded. He asked me again: you're not lying are you?I asked him back.. why would i lie. if you don't like it then i changed.
He said.. it's okay.
Okay or not okay, I changed to.. If you think i'm pretty, i am not. if you think i am lying i am not. i am just me. Den he said he gtg to buy ramlee burger. and he says this..I think you are pretty.. and i know you are not lying. muah. Like what the hell.. Grrrr. I dun find what he said makes sense. He just came back with a bloated stomach from a dinner with his family, den he's off to buy ramlee burger.I msged him early this morning to greet him good morning and wishing him good day. Till now there's no reply.. more than 12 hours liao. If you really want to budget, den tell me. I don't want to try too hard to msg you everytime.. to look for you everytime. Because I know, we're just frens. and thats the way it should be. Got it? (:
Let's move according to your pace.
